Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Michael has a tumor

I'm sitting here thinking about Michael. 

We got a call from his vet, Dr. Mason, yesterday.  Michael has a tumor.  It is benign, but it's not great news like you think it would be.   

The tumor is kind of fast growing.  It is in his jaw.  One of the options, Dr. Mason says, is to remove Michael's jaw.  But that's not really an option, b/c cats don't live long with their jaws removed.

So the only other option is for Michael to get an operation about once a year, for the rest of his life, to remove part of the tumor.

And that might not even work.  It depends on how fast growing the tumor is.  It's kind of a wait and see thing.  The vet wants to see Michael back in a month to see how much the tumor has grown.  If it is growing too fast, well, uhm, not good.  That would call for like, drastic measures.  I can't even bare to put it down in black and white here, but I think you all know what I am talking about.  If the tumor is large, we can't let kitty suffer indefinitely.  On the other hand, if it is growing slow enough, then it looks like lifetime operations for him.

Ugh.  I am not feeling much of anything.  Because like with John, all I can do is stay calm, and not panic, to keep myself steady.  Not staying calm accomplishes nothing.  Not that I am comparing a cat to John, for Heaven's sake, but I do love my cat.  He has been with me for almost 9 years.  I love him dearly.  I think I will spend this time not being sad, but spending a lot of time just loving Michael.  That is what I want to do.

Loving you all,


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Saturday, August 18, 2007

Jland 4 Year Anniversary

Hi you all.  It's been awhile.  I hate not being able to update regularly.  I am going to try to get a quick update in before I eat supper.  

Just wanted to let you know that John is doing ok now.  We had a little scare last week with a spike in his temperature.  But his neutropenia had gone away (his immune system was improved), so he wasn't in as bad of danger anymore, and fortunately the fever went away pretty quickly.  Then we went to Hershey yesterday and the day before for the Graft Verses Host Disease in his eyes and he got a good report!  His eyes are doing well as long as he takes his Restasis eye drops.  

We don't know the results of Michael's biopsy yet.  I need to call back his doctor on Monday to find out if he has cancer.  Poor cat.  He appears so happy right now.  I think that is because we got his teeth fixed.  Oh yeah, he didn't have one molar fixed.  He had four molars plus one more tooth fixed.  I think he had five root canals or something, LOL.  Poor kitty.  He also had a biopsy at the same time.  Dr. Mason slashed the price (like in half for us or something) or we wouldn't have been able to afford it.  Thank God for his mercy. 

I wanted to mention something else.  I am kind of proud of myself, LOL.  I gave myself my own insulin shot!  When John's fever spiked, and we thought he would have to go to Hershey, I knew he wouldn't always be there to give me the shots, so I took the needle and read the directions, and just did it to myself!  I was real afraid but did it anyway!  Then I called the nurse like she asked me to, and told her I had done it.  She said she was proud of me, LOL.

Hmmm, what else is new?  The getting ready for the move has been moving along pretty smoothly.  While I still have lots to do every day (oh yes, lots), things are really working out.  And Catholic Charities called me on Friday and said they should be able to help with a washer and dryer.  I hope that works out.  That would be cool.  I have been doing the laundromat thing for a long time.

Uhm, so what else am I thinking about?  The upcoming 4 year J-Land Anniversary (I think it is this Tuesday).  Wow, this year it is going off without a bang.  To me this is sad.  Maybe I will do something in my journal on Tuesday.  Like what J-Land means to me.  I wanted to do it last year, but John ended up in the hospital instead, and I went with.  Of course it was more important that I be with him, but I missed out doing the entry I wanted to do.  I remember I was also going to post the links of everybody else's entries in one place, either in my journal, or a separate journal.  At any rate, if anybody is interested, I will do that this year.  What do you think?

Okay, gotta run, my supper is calling me.  Blessings and all,


Friday, August 10, 2007

Right now Michael, my sweet kitty, is at the animal hospital.  He is having his mouth x-rayed and biopsed.  He may have cancer.  Squamous Cell Carinoma.  On the other hand, the lump in his mouth could be an absess, and he could merely need to have the tooth pulled.  Or it could be both.  He could have a tooth abcess and cancer.

Michael's veteranarian told John and me that the cancer is a very agressive kind, and if he has it that he won't live for long, even if he had the tumor excised or radiated.  If it turns out that Michael does have cancer, he will have to be put to sleep.

So I have been crying some.  I know that I shouldn't panic, that there is a fifty percent chance it is not cancer, but I am scared.  I love my kitty.

Okay, on other news, John is neutropenic again.  He has almost no immune system.  We have no explanation for this.  We are not going to panic b/c this has happened many times since the transplant, and he has made it without catching anything, and becomming ill or dying.  So we are learning to take this all in stride, LOL.  

Uhm, just a little bit of stress in our lives, LOL.  But the Lord will help us no matter what.  He steadies us and keeps us from panicking.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, we are not at our new place yet, LOL.  We are at my parent's house.  We made a temporary move to my parent's b/c our place does not become available until September 1.  Yes, we have to move again in about two weeks.  To get settled allover again!  All that moving.  Yuck.  But we think we have help this time.  Praise God for that.  

Unfortunately, the phone company said they will not be able to hook up my AOL connection until the middle of September.  Arghhhhh!  How will I communicate if I have no ISP connection, LOL? I hadn't realized how I have come to love my computer, LOL!

Okay, I must go.  I have one thousand things to do today.  Please pray for my Michael.  We may not get the results back for several days, because he is getting a biopsy.  And please pray for John, that he doesn't get a fever, via an infection.  If he does, who will give me my insulin shots?  I will have to give them to myself, LOL!  Horrors!  BTW, my insulin shots have been going well and my sugar levels are doing better.  Okay, must run.

Love you all lots,

Krissy :)  

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Tuesday, August 7, 2007

i have to take insulin

Hi.  Wow.  I have gone through withdrawl from you all.  I've missed you.  You are a very important part of my life.  I've had time to read a few journals, but not post an entry.  So let me update.

Well, the moving is done.  I'm so glad.  It was hard.  A lot of people who said they would show up to help didn't.  But some did and we managed fine. 

Except for the fact that my legs got really swollen afterwards.  I ended up having to go to the Emergency Room.  I was given the diuretic Lasix.  It helped the swelling go down tremendously.  While I was there in the ER they did labs.  It turned out my glucose level was way too high.  I have diabetes so this isn't good of course.  The ER doctor told me that I needed to go to my diabetes physician.

When I went to my diabetes docotor yesterday, he was very upset about my visit to the ER and the fact that from the bloodwork he saw that I was beginning to go into ketosis.  So I have to go on insulin.  He insisted.  He told me that there was a strong possibility that I could get off the insulin someday if I lost weight.  I need to eat correctly and exercise daily.    

I believe I will be able to achieve this, at least give it a good shot, because I went to a diabetes educator last week.  She explained to me how to eat nutritionally and to lose weight.   She also explained how she wanted me to exercise.  I am very positive about what she wanted me to do.  It made sense.

I am not so happy about the insulin, but will do what it takes to stay alive.  I have to do this, according to Dr. Raquet.  I am going to have to give myself shots in the stomach and legs, alternating each day.  And for awhile I am going to be on both diabetes medication and insulin.

This will be a medical regimen where I will be taking blood sugar readings, writing them down along with what I eat, calling insulin readings in to the doctor, taking diabetes meds, giving myself insulin daily.  Ugh, another complicated medical regimen I will have to follow. 

I am feeling SO high maintenance right now.  I have to take care of morning and bedtime meds, an inhaler morning and bedtime for asthma, take blood sugar levels, take narcolepsy medicine, take my insulin daily, exercise an hour a day, eat right, and use my use my sleep apnea machine at night.  Oh, and take my blood sugar meds a half hour before breakfast and supper, as well as deal with recording my sugar levels and what I eat and writing them all down and calling them in to the physician's office.  I wonder if I am leaving anything out???  

I need to make a list up so I won't forget to do anything!  Gee, I am feeling somewhat overwhelmed. 

Does anybody else feel like they are high maintenance?  If so, how do they handle it?  And how does it make you feel?

Love you all,

Krissy :) 

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