I'm sitting here thinking about Michael.
We got a call from his vet, Dr. Mason, yesterday. Michael has a tumor. It is benign, but it's not great news like you think it would be.
The tumor is kind of fast growing. It is in his jaw. One of the options, Dr. Mason says, is to remove Michael's jaw. But that's not really an option, b/c cats don't live long with their jaws removed.
So the only other option is for Michael to get an operation about once a year, for the rest of his life, to remove part of the tumor.
And that might not even work. It depends on how fast growing the tumor is. It's kind of a wait and see thing. The vet wants to see Michael back in a month to see how much the tumor has grown. If it is growing too fast, well, uhm, not good. That would call for like, drastic measures. I can't even bare to put it down in black and white here, but I think you all know what I am talking about. If the tumor is large, we can't let kitty suffer indefinitely. On the other hand, if it is growing slow enough, then it looks like lifetime operations for him.
Ugh. I am not feeling much of anything. Because like with John, all I can do is stay calm, and not panic, to keep myself steady. Not staying calm accomplishes nothing. Not that I am comparing a cat to John, for Heaven's sake, but I do love my cat. He has been with me for almost 9 years. I love him dearly. I think I will spend this time not being sad, but spending a lot of time just loving Michael. That is what I want to do.
Loving you all,