Yes, I am up early. I had one massive charley horse that caused me to wake up. Strange thing about it was that I screamed at the top of my lungs, and John didn’t even wake up! It’s because I had my CPAP mask on, and he couldn’t hear me through it.
I can’t get back to sleep either. I am very sad. John’s Mom (my mother-in-law) is in the hospital. We got the call in the middle of the night. I guess she’s dying. John wouldn’t like me to say that. He would want me to say she is getting better, that she will be getting out. But in my gut I know she won’t be.
She has been having problems for several years now. Her doctors are constantly arguing with each other over what her diagnosis is – but now they are saying it’s most likely Parkinson’s. Mom has finally come to the point, John’s sister said when she called last night, that she can no longer speak. Well she tries, but all her words are gibberish. Mom believes she is speaking, though, I think. Also she can no longer walk, or even move much for that matter.
She’s not going to make it. I don’t know how much longer she has. Last time I heard she wouldn’t feed herself.
I’m very sad. Last time I spoke to her on the phone (two weeks ago), I didn’t know it would be the last time I would get to have a conversation with her (here on earth). A conversation that she understood. But I am glad I ended the last phone conversation the same way I always end it. “I love you and I like you, Mom. Bye.”