A lot has happened since I wrote last. Gee, that was this past Monday. I haven't made an entry because my computer really has been shutting on and off. It's the hard drive. It's just too old. I'm definitely going to have to get a new computer.
I've also been really busy. Lots of doctor's appointments. The surgeon I was sent to for my shoulder and arm wants me to have an MRI on Thursday, and is deciding if I should have one or two surgeries, from the result of the MRI. He definitely wants me to have laproscopic surgery, and then perhaps another surgery. I'll explain when I have more time, why I might have to have two surgeries instead of one. But right now I have to get some things done.
I just wanted to say one thing about the MRI though, before I get back to work. I don't want to do it. I am sceeeeeered, LOL. The MRI is on Thursday. It will be a closed MRI with contrast. I don't mind the dye. I mind being in the tube. I panicked so badly in it last time. Call it an anxiety attack, a panic attack, I don't know what it was, but I wanted to get out the whole time I was in there.
I asked them for music, before I went in, which they obliged me with. That was great, because it made the time go by so much faster. But I still panicked somewhat. Anything they did to make me comfortable didn't work.
I have this irrational fear that they are going to leave me in there! And go home or something. My sister Therese asked me something last night that helped me. She asked, "How can they leave you in there, when other patients are scheduled to have MRIs right after you? They HAVE to take you out!"
Okay, so that makes sense. The she said, "Don't worry, even if there is a fire, and the electricity stops working, it only takes them six to eight minutes to get you out." "Shut up, Therese!," I said. I hadn't even thought of the little scenario where the electricity stops working. I asked her what made her think anybody would wait around for eight seconds to manually pull me out of a vault if the place was burning up? Ugh...
After telling me this, she did redeem herself again, LOL. She told me what I should do. "Tell them you are scared. Tell them to talk to you periodically and ask you if you are okay. If you know that they are watching out for you, you won't be as nervous. Have them remind you you can press the bottom at any time if you need help. They can talk you through it."
Now THAT made sense. And if all else fails, I could take two Ativan, LOL. The surgeon promised.
Love you all,