I haven't done an interview with my wonderful husband John Knox, of too-stubborn-to-die notoriety in a few months, so I figured it was time.
Krissy: So hey there John, how are you doing today?
John: Let's see. Trying to cope with the 14 degree weather outside.
Krissy: Yes, it's horrible. With the wind chill factor it's probably below zero. So anyway, what's new with you?
John: Uhm, I had my 46th birthday a few weeks ago. Uhm... (quit writing uhm! I don't want uhm!)
Krissy: okay! How does it feel to be 46?
John: It feels a lot like being 45 except that I've noticed a number of wrinkles in my face that I've never noticed before! My image of myself is still someone who is 25 or 30. It's unsettling to realize that I am middle aged now.
Krissy: Speaking of birthdays, you have another one coming up on Sunday. How does it feel having two in one month?
John: Sunday is the second anniversary of my bone marrow transplant. Bone marrow transplant recipients call our anniversary dates "birthdays". It's because we got a new lease on life. The anniversary does feel like a birthday because I have changed so much. It's like I have almost become a different person in some ways.
Krissy: How do you feel you've become a different person since your transplant? If you don't mind me asking.
John: For awhile at first I think I became more withdrawn like I was concentrating on surviving. I spent most of 2006 in the hospital. Once I was home again it was difficult adjusting to being out of the hospital and trying to live a normal life.
I think after that phase I became more assertive and creative. I am more willing to take chances now. I wouldn't have tried writing a blog before this.
Krissy: I see a lot more changes than that. I think you're more self-confident. You're more easy going. You're determined to do what you need to do. Your fight to battle the cancers gave you that.
John: I think you are right, but sometimes I have to work on these things. It doesn't come completely naturally to me yet.
Krissy: What's your inspiration?
John: Shortly before I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma I asked God to give me more faith. Dealing with NHL and bone marrow cancer, I did find more faith. I didn't expect the deeper faith to come about in that way, but maybe I needed something significant to happen to give me that deeper faith.
I know that God does not give us cancer, but I also know that God allows "all things to work together for good for those who love Him".
Krissy: If you could, would you change what has happened in your life?
John: (moment of truth here) Overall I wouldn't change what has happened. I do wish there had been fewer difficult complications after the transplant. I think that six months of complications would have been enough of a trial to help me learn, but I trust God to do what was best for me. Maybe I did need a year.
Krissy: You believe God does not bring the illness, but He does sometimes allow it, right?
John: Definitely. God doesn't make us sick, but sometimes suffering can be a growth experience for us. And it can draw us closer to the Lord.
Krissy: So you're not angry at God for your cancer or bone marrow transplant experience?
John: Throughout this whole cancer experience I have never blamed God or gotten angry at Him. I've always known that God has my best interests in mind.
Krissy: Would you like to add anything before we close?
John: I would like to give thanks to God for seeing me through the cancer and complications.
I also give thanks to God for how He has helped me spiritually.
If you would like to visit John and tell him "happy birthdays" then here is the link: it's the 2nd anniversary of my bone marrow transplant
Love you all,