Hi. Ugh. Finally an entry. I have wanted to do one for ages. But I have been having these horrendous muscle spasms in my back racking me over and over.
Oh, and one word of advice for you if you have fibromyalgia. Don't call the doctor on call at your primary care office and tell him you have fibro. Say it is "severe spasms in your back". Or he'll brush you off.
What I mean is this. A couple of nights ago, waves and waves of pain were washing over my back and my body. I was crying and didn't know what to do. Then it hit me, I should call the doctor on call at my doctor's office. I called him up. I told him I needed a muscle relaxant, and that I had fibro.
I thought he would just call something into my pharmacy. He heard the word fibro (which many doctors don't believe in over here) and he said, "Take some tylenol. Go to bed. You don't need to go to the hospital, see your doctor soon."
Okay, so like I got off the phone and started going a little wiggy because I couldn't stand the pain. I started, well, crying kind of a lot. I called Valerie and she was asleep. Actually, John called her, I couldn't even do that.
Then I called my Dad. "I'm going over to the hospital. I don't care what that doctor said, he's not the one that's going to wake up at 3 AM racked in pain."
So John and I went to the hospital (The Emergency Room), and I was treated very respectfully. I couldn't believe it. The doctor felt certain parts of my back and said it was obvious that I was having back spasms and cramps! That was a relief! To be believed! He gave me some muscle relaxants and a script.
Want to know what a back spasm feels like? Your back spasms and then locks all the sudden before it releases again. It is a severe muscle cramp pain. I finally figured out what it was sort of comparable to last night. It is very similar to when you get a cramp in your calf or your thigh. Only with my flare ups in my back they happen over and over again, these cramps, as soon as thirty seconds apart sometimes, and could potentially go on for hours. Just cramps washing over me.
That is why if I tell somebody I can't make a commitment I just can't.
So where is this entry leading? I don't know. I don't want sympathy comments. Certainly not. Just the thought of that makes me sad. Then why did I write this? To tell you all why I have not been around much.
Gee, there wasn't even a photo shoot topic this week. I know, I know, you will say it doesn't matter.
I also wrote this entry because I wanted to tell you what was REALLY going on in my life.
I want to do more "real" entries, in this blog. Not just factual things about hot dogs or something. Entries that have to do with my life. If I was gone for four days, and just came back and stuck up something factual, with nothing about me, you would not know anything about me or what I have been up to. I don't like that. That's why I shared with you the things that have been going on the last few days of my life.
I want my blog to be about so much morethan it is! I'm trying to be more personal. Some people would probably say I wear my heart out on my sleeve too much already. But when do I do that? When I am telling you about some illness or that I have completed OT or something. I feel like I have a blog about sickness sometimes, LOL.
So to all my readers who have stayed with me, even when this blog has gotten kind of boring, and not enough about my personal life, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I promise to put more of myself into my blog now. Not because I have to, but because I want to.
Love you all,