Monday, March 19, 2007

this entry will make you cry

Today was a hard day. 

I want to tell you guys about it.  Part of me doesn't want to tell you, because I don't want you to be sad.  But I believe I should, because if something happens suddenly later, and you don't know, I believe it would be wrong.  You should have time to prepare yourself, to let things sink in.

John and I visited the nephrologist (kidney doctor) today.  John wanted to see him before we were to see Dr. Claxton (who we see in a couple weeks) because he had some questions about his kidneys and how they would react with a bone marrow transplant. 

According to the nephrologist, John may not even have a choice whether he is given the option to have the bone marrow transplant, as his kidneys are so damaged.  Yes, the doctors may not even allow the transplant to be done.

And if he does go ahead with the bone marrow transplant, the nephrologist is not giving him a long time to live, with his kidney damage.  He will have to go on immediate lifetime dialysis, which will cause problems for his longetivity.  A lot of people can live a long time on dialysis, but not those who have just come off a bone marrow transplant. 

I could explain to you why John would not live long on dialysis after a bone marrow transplant, but I am not going to.  I'll spare you, as I am sure you are in grief right now.  Just suffice it to say that the nephroligist explained it to us. 

So what am I hoping?

That you don't disappear, and that you still support us.

That you not be disappointed in John, and think he has failed you. 

That you don't leave John alone in his hour of need.

You don't need to pity us, we are fine.

Please don't tell us that if we just had enough faith, John would be healed.  We are Christians and know that John could be healed, but often Jesus chooses to heal in Heaven.  Everybody dies, and if that is the way that The Lord chooses to do it, then who are we to argue?  If that is the way things progress, then do not tell John or me we are lacking in faith.  Thank you.

Please allow us to be human.  Some days we cry, some days we laugh.

We do not mourn like those who have no hope, we believe John has a place in Heaven.

I hope that you will continue to still support and love John.  He still has so much more that he would like to give to you.  I don't know about you, but his courage has inspired me.  So has his ability to go on, no matter the situation.  After the news today he came home and did the dishes of all things!  There is so much that he has taught me, and there is so much more he wants to give to us through his example.

And what he says is most important to him is that others keep giving blood.

Sorry if I made you cry.  I know this was unexpected, and you weren't prepared. 

I love you all more than ever,  Krissy

93 comments:

  1. Krissy & John.. I know I don't comment as often as I should but you are both always in my prayers.  I have no intention of leaving either of you.. disappointed?  Are you kidding .. you both have showed so much strength .. I hope to learn from you in my time of need... you both have inspired me.  I love you both and will follow you down the path you decide.  Hugs
    love ya
    d

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  2. I WILL NOT DISAPPEAR AND I WILL SUPPORT YOU BOTH 100% IN WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE TO DO....AFTER ALL IS SAID AND DONE, IT IS STILL YALL'S  DECISION ONLY...
    PLEASE KNOW THAT I AM PRAYING FOR YOU BOTH KRISSY....I LOVE YOU GUYS.......
    OH.........AND YOU KNOW WHAT??? JOHN AND YOU TOO, HAVE TAUGHT ME SO MUCH IN JUST THE SHORT TIME I HAVE COME TO KNOW YALL.....YOU BOTH INSPIRE ME TO TRY HARDER...AND TO TRY TO BE A BETTER PERSON...GOD BLESS YOU BOTH.
    AND YES..... SOMETIMES GOD DOES NEED A NEW ANGEL IN HEAVEN,....
    LOVE  YA,
    CARLENE

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  3. Sorry today didn't bring more pleasant news for you.  Regardless of the outcome, or prognosis, you'll both be in my thoughts and prayers...:)

    Hugs to you both...:)
    Lippy

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  4. I would never leave you and John.... John is my miracle... I know God's work through you and John has been how close everyone in jland has become... I just continue to pray that God would still choose to heal John and show us the biggest miracle of all... is that selfish...
    Love you guys!
    Linda :)
    and yes I'm crying....

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  5. I am so sorry John and Krissy:( keeping you in prayer

    Deb

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  6. {{{krissy and john}}}  no one will be disappointed in either of you.  your courage and faith are inspiring.  i don't often comment, but i do pray for you.  i agree with your words here....yes, Jesus can and often does heal, but for whatever reason, and often we'll never understand or know why, He doesn't.  but there is no sickness or pain in Heaven...but peace, love, joy, health, and there we can look on the face of our Savior.  God be with you and bless you both.
    gina

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  7. I am sure this was a difficult entry to write, as it was difficult to read...
    I am not going to abandon either of you.
    I have never doubted your faith...never.  His courage has inspired many of us.  Please keep us posted...
    Love you both...Jae

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  8. Ok I dont know what to say here. I will just ask you kris to tell him that I send him love. Thank you for sharing... I will speak with you soon.. call or stop by anytime time online and say hi. Im totally speechless but the support you have personally brought me in the last year when I had gone through cancer myself was something I really treasured. John has made a contribution to my life personally with his strugle and his courage and so have you dear sister. Know that Im with you totally in spirit and love... give him a hug from me please.
    xxxxxxxxxx Deirdre

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  9. The two of you are bravely facing all that comes side by side, together.  You nor John could disappoint us.  Of course I will pray that God might chose to interceed supernaturally for John!  But His will and His way is perfect, even when we don't understand.  Even if it stings.  I just preached the whole faith is a gift from God and Christ said it only takes the faith of a mustard seed sermon over at Pennys (firestormkids04).  So I won't start again.  All I can say is I love you both and I just want there to be joy in each and every day for each of you, no matter how long your stay on this earth.  -  Barbara

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  10. You and John both have certainly been an inspiration to me.  Such courage and faith and love for each other.  I'd be willing to bet that you both have been a source of courage and inspiration to the other patients and the staff that you have come in contact with both locally and at the Hershey facility.  None of us have a promise of tomorrow, we all need to live everyday as if it were our last. Your courage over the last year has been a testimony of God's love to all who know you personally and to all who read your journal. May God richly bless both of you in the coming days....Linda in Washington state

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  11. I will always love you both.  Live life for today.  Enjoy each other as much as you possibly can.  Prayers from Texas to give you the strength to face each challenge.  You already have the love for each other and everyone around you.  A new day has come.  xox Barbara

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  12. Krissy & John......
    Like footprints in the sand. That is how we all feel about you two. No one will ever leave you, especially The Lord. This doctor could be 100% right and then again ONLY when the Lord our God wants things to happen they do. I pray for peace of mind for you two. John you are always in my prayers always. Stay tuff John.
    Love eileen

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  13. Krissy, I have been living at my parents this last month  and I dont have the freedom to the Internet as much as I like. I have been trying to use my time to look for a job but I am mentioning this because I wanted to let you know why I havent commented recently.

    Now, in terms of JOhn, I will ask my church to pray for him this week and pray fervently. I know God counts the days and chooses when he wants us to come home and live with him but until then, I will keep my heart on hope and healing. I am very sad to have read this and will make a point to come by more regularly. In my prayers, always, Raven

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  14. That is tough news, I'm so sorry to hear about all this.

    Greg

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  15. Thank you for being so honest with us.  I will always give you and John my support.  I know first hand that sometimes even when people want to help you and be positive they don't always know the right thing to say.  I am one of those that believe that I have a purpose with all of my illnessess.  It doesn't mean that I don't have faith.  It just means that I am okay with things whichever way that they go because I have a God and I am glad that you both do also.  Hugs - Tish

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  16. Krissy no matter what happens you both have my support and prayers.Love you both loads.

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  17. Krissy & John ~ This didn't make me cry.  I know of your strength.  I know of your faith.  I know of your humor.  I know of human frailty.  I know that through Christ all things are possible; and come what may ... it is WE who are blessed with the example both of you share with us daily.  I am proud to call you friend ... blessed more to call you sister ... and graced beyond measure to have you both as family.  My thought and prayers are with you always.  I am here if you need me, as you need me.

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  18. ((((( Krissy and John )))))
    Sara   xxx

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  19. Hey  Krissy,

    Just keep your heads up and keep your Faith in your Catholisim / Religion. I know this prob sounds weird coming from someone that is a Agnostic person ( meaning I am unsure if there is a god or not but which not to say) But I belive that you two will make it through this some how....  I say that because it seems like you a strong Catholic woman.... you know....

         Even if its a wing and a prayer I belive yall will make it through this and ya'll will get to be old sitting out on your front porch in your rockers lol. ( just keep striveing to that goal and hopefully you guys will make it to that ) :)

    Keep your heads up of all things. Dont let it beat you down..... FIGHT IT TO THE END! :)

    I hope what I said makes sense :)

    Take Care,
    Christopher



    http://journals.aol.com/cmarlow330/ChristophersJournal/




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  20. My heart goes out to you both and I'll keep on praying for you.  Your acceptance of the will of God shows your great faith and I have no doubt that John has his place in heaven.  The wonderful part of our faith is that hope of eteranl life.  The end is not here yet and we just never know, any of us, what tomorrow will bring.  Today is what is important and I know you both will make the most of it. Take good care and know that you are in the best hands anyone could have.
    Love and prayers .  'On Ya' - ma

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  21. Krissy,
    Your writing did not make me cry.  It made me smile.  Smile because I am in awe of John and in you.

    I, too, believe what you wrote about healing.  It makes me crazy when my neighbor tells me that "I don't have enough faith. Because God has not healed me."  God has a plan for each of us.  He knows our beginnings and our endings even before our birth (and the birth of our ancestors).  I also believe that God chooses to heal some of us in heaven.  What better reward is there?  Yes, we live by faith.  And, in that faith we trust that God's hand is always upon us.  But, how amazing would it be for God's hand to truly touch us.  In that touch, a healing.  Healing in his Eternal Kingdom.  To receive that Palace He has promised us.  If anyone has a place in Heaven it is John.  He has shown his life to God and God smiles down on him.

    Most do not understand the faithful and illness.  Many question God's decision to bring some home earlier than we think they should go.  So much anger and many question God's worth.  They question his purpose.  That is where the faith we so cherish comes into play.  For me, I find no easier way to live my life than to trust the God that gave me life.  I give my life to him and let him do with it what he chooses.  If it's God's plan than how could it be bad.  Of course, I have times where I question.  We are only human.  That is the time when I need to pray for my unbelief.  I am so proud of you and John.

    No way would I leave you. It is not even an option.  Love and support will cotinue to flow.

    My Hubby and Daughter give blood.  They will not take mine.  It is something our family believes strongly in..

    Reading your journal and coming to know you and John has given me so much.  Yes, courage.  But, so much more.

    Love and Hugs, LuAnne

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  22. Hugs and prayers for you and John.
    Love-Jackie

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  23. I cannot begin to imagine how you two must feel, Krissy. I can only wish you strength for the weeks and months to come. J-land will stand by you.

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  24. Of course I will not leave you or John, nor will I tell you what to do, how to do it, what to feel, how to grieve....NOTHING.  What I WILL tell you is that I will be here for you and John ALWAYS.  If there is ANYTHING, absolutely ANYTHING I can do to help make this situation easier for you, or for John, PLEASE let me know.

    You and John are always in my thoughts and prayers.  ALWAYS.

    ((hugs)) and love,
    Jeanne

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  25. I am praying that maybe there will be some middle road, some break thru... maybe John will be the one that does live long on dialysis... you never know.  I send you both more prayers and support and love....  

    Neither of you could ever disappoint... you are so strong and such inspirations and examples of faith.

    be well,
    Dawn
    http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/CarpeDiem/

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  26. OMG Krissy, am crying with you two! All of J-Land is rooting for John, you both know that...there's sooo much love here for you guys!
    Hoping all goes well, knowing Gods' Will will be done. Only He knows our future, prayers going up!
    Blessings,
    Sugar

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  27. Krissy I know without a doubt John's healing on this earth as so many WANT it to be has nothing to do with your faith and anyone who says it does not know what FAITH is, they're cruel and heartless. We were told the samething when Jordyn was dying (that if only we had more faith or were better Christians...great examples of Christ they were being huh?)

    I am praying for you and John as obviously many decisions have to be made. John can not fail anyone. If others feel he's failed them, they're putting their personal faith in him instead of GOD and that's not right.

    You and John are the ones who ultimately have decisions and choices to live with and as much as so many of us in JLand care and love you and John, it is simply put not our life and our world that's been turned upside down and inside out.

    I'm holding you both very tightly in my heart and prayers. I pray that you seek GOD with every decision (which I have no doubt you do), I pray that you feel Christ's arms wrapped tightly around both of you and that no matter where John is healed that you both allow each other to cry, rejoice, and love each other and Jesus.

    You are both wonderful, God-fearing people and I am honored that you've allowed me to have a small glimpse in this time. I truly can relate to how precious each and every moment is and wish this was not upon you and John.

    We know Miracles can happen...what ever miracle, healing, etc God gives you and John I am without doubt it'll be the right wrong, because God doesn't make mistakes. He allows things to happen that we don't always understand, but no mistakes. I'm just an email away.

    God Bless
    Christy

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  28. I would never leave either John or you. Never. It means alot to me for you to share your lives with me, I am truely honored. I will always keep you both in my thoughts and in my prayers. ((((((((((warm hugs)))))))))))
    Love to you both,
    Cindy xoxox

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  29. Krissy
    I am sorry to hear this news.  Both John and you will have my prayers and thoughts.
    Sam

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  30. (((((((((((((((((((HUGSTOYOUBOTH)))))))))))))))))))))I love you both ver much,I havent known you long like others,but,I have grown to know you and love you both.I would nver leave you guys.You both have tought me alot from reading your journal.You will always have my susport.

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  31. Krissy,
    There is positively no way that I, nor anyone, could ever doubt your faith...nor John's.    You have both been 2 of the most incredible people on this journey.   I have the utmost respect for both of you.
    My heart and prayers are always with you both...

    Nancy

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  32. My prayers are still with you both. I know you both have faith in God, I have never doubted that. May He uplift your spirits today and in the days to come. Hugs, Helen

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  33. I am sorry to hear your news. As for doubting your faith NEVER you both inspire me more than you will ever know. I will continue to pray for both of you, and I will put you on our prayer chain.
    Barbara

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  34. Oh Krissy...I still hold you both very close to my heart, and are still in my prayers. I would never leave, pity, or even consider telling you or anyone that you don't have enough faith, let you laugh and cry and to just be human. The two of you have always been in my prayers.
    Sending so many hugs your way!
    Lisa

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  35. sending love, hugs and many more prayers!!!!
    Becky

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  36. I am sorry about the news...I will continue to pray. No one should say you have lost Faith, PLEASE...NEVER!

    May God continue to bless you both.

    Michele

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  37. I am here for my Krissy and John every inch of the way... I love  you two soooooo much! xox  Krissy, please give John a nice hug for me and then could you ask him to give you a hug? xox

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  38. Whatever you and John need to be at any given moment is perfectly fine and natural.  All I can do is to let you know that through it all you are loved and if I can't offer any more than a shoulder, just know it's here for you any time you need it.

    I love both of you and circle my arms around the two of you.

    Peace, hugs and much love,

    Deb

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  39. Krissy, I am hoping exactly for those same things for you.  And I think you KNOW that.  I will be here whenever you need me, when and if you do.  I love you both dearly Krissy and I will continue to pray for you in this difficult time. (I will email you my phone # so you can call if you choose to. (Collect if necessary) Love, Merry

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  40. Krissy,
    Always have faith in the future, because we don't know what it will bring. Hope is not yet gone as long as love remains.

    With you in prayer,

    Charley

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  41. If positive thoughts can help, then a wellspring of mine are on their way to you now.
    Judith

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  42. Krissy and John  NEVER and I mean NEVER would I disappear. Of course I will continue to still support  you and John... and of course the two of you are in my thoughts and prayers!

    Sharon

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  43. Krissy and John,
    I think you both are very brave and are making very brave decisions.
    I will continue to pray for you both.
    I made an appointment to go give blood on Friday--I am hoping my iron count is high enough this time---even if it's not--I made my Dad an appointment as well and he has good blood.  I told my Dad that we are doing it for you two!
    Hang in there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  44.  We will all be here for you both as long as you need us.  I am so sorry the news wasn't better.  Sending you both warm prayers in the sad time.

                           Julie

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  45. ((((((HUGS))))))
    I believe everything happens for a reason, God had a plan from the start. Others have been touched by what you and John have been going threw, and you have had this wonderful way to share your faith, who knows because of you who may come to the Lord by your example.  Big ripples in this pond of life.

    Though I do not comment often, I do pray for you both and I know you both are in good hands.

    Much Love,
    Mary

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  46. my prayers are with you both.

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  47. Dearest Krissy & John,

    I won't disappear because the news is bad, and will continue to be here for you as often as I can. I love both of you. And how could anybody  be disappointed in John? I can't imagine such a thing! He is an inspiration to us all, as are you. He won't be left alone, nor will you. You expressed yourself, so well in this entry, and I'm glad you took time to write out your needs. People often times forget that even strong people need to cry, that we are strong- but not always. And too, some well intenetioned people think it lack of faith that causes a death in the family, not remembering that sometimes it is simply what God feels is best. This entry did make me cry, but not out of pity. Out of love.
    (((((((((((((((((((((JOHN & KRISSY)))))))))))))))))))))))))
    Barb- http://journals.aol.com/barbpinion/HEYLETSTALK

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  48. Krissy and John,  Yes there are tears but also you both have taught me to be strong and so I am.  God always has His reasons.  What a wonderful example you both have been to all of us in your courage and faith.  I will never leave you no matter what happens.  My prayers will continue and I am giving blood tomorrow along with my dad and neighbor.  I love you both so very much.
                                                    Hugs and love     Myke

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  49. May God Bless you both and may John and you be happy and content in each others company for a long as possible in the time to come . John is so brave and you too.  Crying is good for the soul....go on and do it!  Friends wont leave you in your hour of need.
     Jeanie

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  50. Krissy, you and John are a blessed inspiration to everyone you touch. Your amazing love, few have, even over a long lifetime. I hope for a miracle but you two are already a miracle in so many ways. I'm greedy. I will ask God for more miracles for you two. Maybe you two have the kind of love that is very like God's.....neverending and everlasting.

    Love,
    Angela

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  51. Krissy, I know I don't comment often, but I do read and I know how strong you both are. My thoughts are with you, love Joan
    http://journals.aol.co.uk/aniracj/StrannyDayze/
    http://journals.aol.co.uk/aniracj/TheBandAyleysComet/

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  52. I wish the news was better for John. Will be keeping you both in my prayers.
    Pam

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  53. I am with you. You and John are in my prayers.

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  54. Krissy and John.  May God Bless you both.  I know deep down he already does.  I am so sorry for the latest bit of news from the Dr.  You are both in my prayers!
    Hugs,
    Gina

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  55. Krissy and John,

    My thoughts and prayers are with you always.

    Love Sandra xxxxx

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  56. Krissy and John, I'm with you both all the way and you both are always in my special thoughts and prayers.   Life is what we make it along with the ups and downs that come our way....so enjoy each day that you both are blessed with. And none of us think that John has failed us and we never will.....he's been one strong guy through all of this; says alot about what a special man he is. You two share a special love and it will see you both through everything, I don't doubt that for a minute.  Bless you both....Arlene (AJ)

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  57. There is nothing i can say other than i will remember you in my prayers, whatever happens i am so glad you both know Jesus.
    Jenny <><
    http://journals.aol.co.uk/jennyp51/stop-the-clock-times-moving-too-/

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  58. Hi Krissy.  Im Jeni.  I love your courage and I admire your faith.  Youve helped me.  I know too that Jesus is a healer and Im so glad to see that there are people who are not so upset because they know they have a place in Heaven.  I would like for you to visit my journal. It is something that i think you would be able to appreciate. Im new at this so it may be a little rusty. my prayers go to your and your husband.  

    journals.aol.com/jenifrierson/coffeebook

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  59. I pray that God will give you and John the knowledge you need, and the courage you may need to make the right decisions.  There is no way you or John could let any of us down.  I feel like I have let you down by not staying in touch as much, please forgive me.

    Prayers going up.

    Kathy

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  60. John and Krissy, I pray the Lord continues to strengthen, comfort and hold you close to His heart as you face this hard trial.  I pray He gives you, John and the doctors wisdom as you all make choices and do what is needed.
    I praise God for giving you faith that stands firm.  My heart weeps with yours, but not like those who are without hope.
    loving you
    karyl

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  61. We rarely get the opportunity to choose how we will die but we always have a choice in how we live. May you both find all the joy that is possible throughout whatever time is left for him. May you build memories that will sustain you for the rest of your life. May you find blessings all along the way and learn whatever lessons we are supposed to live through these times. May you find comfort in the kindness of strangers and friends.
    *hugs*
    heather

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  62. Dear Krissy, you and John are so special, I'll always be here for you my friend. If arms could reach across the ocean, I'd give you a great big cuddle. Instead I'm sending all my love and and an ocean of {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}.  
    Sylvia xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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  63. My God what sad news but I can feel the strength and hope and love and faith you both share.
    You are both an inspiration.

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  64. Krissy and John, I have just read all the other comments and I have to say...what beautiful friends you have! You can count me in. I will always be there for you both emotionally and spiritually. Although I can't be there physically, you two are in my heart! I am a better person for knowing you both. I am truly blessed to have you in my lives. Take care and God Bless...

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  65. Wow.  All I know is that God is with both of you, and whatever happens, it's just part of His plan.  Of course, you knew that already.  I won't be sad...just accepting of whatever He has planned for you.  Bless you for having so much strength.

    Annie =)
    journals.aol.com/krspkrmmom/nooneshome

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  66. I think previous comments have shown none of us will disappear Krissy. We love you and John, you've been absolutely inspirational throughout John's illness. Thank you for letting us share your journey with you, it's a privilege to know you both. I'm sad the news isn't good for John after all he's been through and survived. I'm keeping you both in my prayers. No, John would never disappoint us, he's given us all strength to believe in you guys. Jeannette xx  http://journals.aol.co.uk/jlocorriere05/Welcometomytravels/  

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  67. Krissy, this is not good news but I do rejoice in John's spirit.  You are so right about being a Christian and God's forms of healing.  That anyone would suggest otherwise is almost blasphemy.  I will continue to pray for the journey that you and John are taking right now.  I am also learning so much from John.  Thank you for the update.  You both will always have my support.  Much love and hugs...Chris

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  68. Krissy, My prayers are with you and John. You are two amazing people with such strong faith in God.
    Hugs and God bless,
    Penny

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  69. Hello Krissy & John, while I am very sorry you have heard some news that is so very difficult,  I at the same time read the words you have written and can see what two beautiful people you are.  You have truly touched the lives of so many, myself included.  John has not failed anyone, in fact he has become I am sure a great inspiration to many who have illnesses, a beacon in the darkness to light the way for others.  He indeed has helped me ten fold.  Your journey ahead will not be an easy one, but  it is very obvious both of you are the kind of people who will walk this journey gracefuly and never give up.  I have not visited your journal often but the times I have, each entry shows me what courageous and amazing people you are.  Thank you for sharing this with us.  Prayers will be said and may I say how honoured I am to visit your journal and to get to know two such beautiful people who spirit soars even in the face of such a difficult road ahead.  God bless you both.  

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  70. thanks krissy always do keep me and my kids in prayer.  I dont want to mislead anyone and make them think that me and my kids are still in need. things are wonderful now.  The reason I started my journal from then is because i want people to see EXACTLY where God has brought me from.  It gets deeper than that . Basically it is my testimony and I know i will have plenty more to come because He will never stop delivering me.  Just keep checking in to see what i mean.

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  71. my prayers are with the both of you
    emily

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  72. All my love to you both, Darlin'.


    xoxoxo,

    Andi

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  73. You both inspire me!! Prayers being said thousandfold,you are not alone.Take Care God Bless.
    Astoriasand http://journals.aol.co.uk/astoriasand/MYSIMPLERHYMES

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  74. Krissy, you did an excellent job of posting this.  I know it must have been difficult for you.  I see the positive in John's life, and I see strength in the both of you.  I intend to try very hard to be here whenever you need me or want me; to do whatever will help John and You.  Love, Merry

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  75. I've not had internet access for 3 days (something about getting out of alignment with the satellite <shrug>) and I come back to find this sad news. Of course none of us are going anywhere! Just because John gets bad news doesn't change how brave he is or how proud we are of how he faces life and his illness! We will be here for the both of you, with good thoughts, encouragement and as many cyber hugs as we can send {{{{hugs}}}}
    http://journals.aol.com/astaryth/AdventuresofanEclecticMind/
    http://adventuresofaneclecticmind.blogspot.com/

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  76. Krissy how could anyone say you two didn't have enough faith?!? I always saw enough faith to heal a world!  I've always thought you two were amazingly strong in your faith and each other.  Please know that you and John will continue to remain in my prayers.  Much love to both of you.

    Monica

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  77. Bravo for being you and for sharing with us and allowing us to be part of your life.  We will continue to pray with you and John.  I know you have a strong faith and you are right, every situation is different and Jesus knows what is best.  Keep up the good fight every day that God gives you!  Love n Hugs,
    Lisa

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  78. Dear Krissy,
    Sorry that I didn't look at my e-mail until today.  Sarah has been sick for three days with the stomach flu.  No yucky loss of fluids, just a temperature and stomach ache.  Her temp. got to 103.3 but now it is back to 99.5.  She is in good spirits.  
    Wow, with 77 e-mails no one is deserting you.  Not me, neither.  I totally understand that God has his own agenda.  He seems to want alot of the good people early in their lives.  Like he only wants the best first because they make the best company for HIM.  
    Tell John I said hi.  I know he will keep on keepin' on because he enjoys his life with you.  I think he must enjoy having his family and friends (including virtual) around.  We can do alot to keep his mind off his troubles.  I think I should come visit you all soon.  'Til I get up there the black bear will stand in for us.  I'm glad spring has come; I hope the warm air and sunshine helps in at least a small way.  I'll try to call soon.  Love, Grace

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  79. I don't think you know how much of an inspiration and example of faith, love and courage you two are.    Sie

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  80. Krissy, you and John are my heart partners.  We love you so much and always pray.  Well, you know that stuff.  I just wanted to bump it up to 80 LOL.  Love in the precious name of Christ Jesus, Rob, Penny & Andrea  http://journals.aol.com/firestormkids04/FromHeretoThere
    http://journals.aol.com/firestormkids04/TimeforaLittlePoetry

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  81. I am behind on alerts and just read this entry 2 hours ago.  I have just read and re-read it over and over. I just have no words that can comfort, lift or change anything. You entry was beautifully written and just want you two to know you're not going to lose anyone, be judged by anyone. I'll continue to offer up my best wishes to both of you, sending you all the positivity, love and prayers that I can.  You have a large support here in JLand. I know I can't do anything physically for you, but I hope you know I wish I could be there to cook, clean, drive, whatever. I'm hear with an ear and virtual shoulder should  you ever need it.
    Love and hugs, Barb

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  82. First of all I would never question your faith!
    I am so sorry about what the doctor said. I wish that it had been good news. I will continue to pray. Miracles do happen. Yes I too, believe there is a place in heaven for John.
    Celeste

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  83. There is no way I'd ever try to tell someone that he or she didn't have enough faith in God, nor leave either of you.   We are humans, all of us.   In these bodies that sometimes will "fail" us.  But, yes, God has hope for all of us, and may His spirit and all of us out here, help to sustain the sprit inside both you and John.  I am disheartened to hear of this news :(  but, yes, he is a good example of courage, also.   How are YOU doing with all of this lately????   -- Robin

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  84. Krissy, John. Always in my thoughts and prayers.  Live your life the best way you know how and I thank you for inviting me in to your lives this way.

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  85. Lacking in Faith ...YOU>>>>> now thats funny! of all the folks I know you and John are NOT lacking in faith!

    Whoever is telling you this needs to crawl under the rock they came from.God knows your heart Kissy and John's heart too. He loves you both ALWAYS!


    patty

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  86. A really really hard day.  I'm so sorry to hear this news.  You and John are always in my prayers and yes, I am extremely amazed by both of your courage.  I just cannot even begin to imagine.  Love you lots!  Shelly

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  87. Krissy, I am just trying to catch up and this had my in tears. You and John have been through so very much and I know this news must have rocked you.  Well, I am not going to give up on John, I still believe in miracles and I shall continue to pray for one.  John is one very brave man, a true inspiration, a fighter and I am sure he will continue to fight.  God bless you both my dear friend.

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  88. My dearest Krissy and John,  now is not the time for anyone to leave you. How could you ever disappoint anyone, either of you?  This is not of your doing.  This journey is nothing you chose but it is one that you are making the best of and you are both amazing!  It is an honor, truly, to share this time with you and to support you both as you face the road ahead.  You can count on lots of prayers and support!
    Hugs,  Kathy

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  89. P.S.  Read Psalm 139.  In there it talks about how God knows the number of all our days even before we are formed in our mother's womb.  He knows each hair on our head and each thought before we think it.  There is no where we can go that he will not be there for us.  I'm glad to know you are Christians because you have the promise of eternity and that you will be together again.
    Love,  Kathy

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  90. i am so sorry to hear this.  all i can do is pray for john and hope that hehas very little pain from here on out.  he is such a fighter, not many people can go through what he has gone through and still have faith.  we will never dissapear on you guys. friends stay friends no matter what the situation is.
    take care
    hugs
    noelle

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  91. I'm so sorry to read this and I hope and pray for John. Hugs and much love.

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  92. A beautiful entry.  You have put everything so well.  I am sure that neither you nor John will be deserted in the days to come.   Gerry http://journal.aol.com/gehi6/daughters-of-the-shadow-men/  

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  93. 92 comments? I got slammed down a mountainside, and I got like 4.

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