I was thinking yesterday about why I hadn't been blogging the last month -- actually why I hadn't been blogging much for the last six months.
The answer came to me. I've been living in stress for six months -- and I almost let this stress drain me of my focus and energy, before I recently became aware of what was happening.
It's stressful living with a Bone Marrow Transplant Survivor. All the ups and downs can be particularly stressful. But I needn't focus on that stress, and allow it to take away my focus or energy. I needn't allow the stress to take away the fact that I want to blog and do other things in my life. I can't let the stress win...
Yes, it is stressful living with a bone marrow transplant patient. I'm not complaining, though. I wouldn't be with anybody else but my husband John. He means the world to me. Perhaps that is why it was so hard when he was hospitalized in October 2008, and then again in November 2008, and we almost lost him a couple of times at the hospital. Since that time, John and I have made frequent trips to Hershey Medical Center, his hospital and Bone Marrow Transplant Center, to take care of his health problems.
By the way, John had his three year anniversary of his Bone Marrow Transplant in January of 2009. When he first had the transplant I was imagining he wouldn't be having these problems at three years post transplant, but now I see it is something I'm going to have to live with. At least for now. He is just one of the survivors who gets many complications. He always has been. And he is always the one to survive against great odds! So I am thankful for that -- that he's a real fighter!
But while I'm thankful, I'm still very tired. That's really the reason I haven't written much -- I've been tired, and I've had a very hard time focusing on blogging, writing or photography. I've had a hard time focusing on just about anything in my life other than medical appointments. I've just been attempting to "make it through."
But it's not going to be like that anymore. It's time to move on. I want more purpose back in my life. I can still help John and focus on goals I have wanted to accomplish for a long time. And blogging is one of them. So I'm back to it.
Blogging is in my blood.