four car pile up

It's been almost two weeks since the car accident.  It came suddenly, just like that.  One minute your life is going along as always, the next minute everything can change.  Well, not everything, but on some days it sure feels like it.

On November 1, John and I were stopped at a red light, behind another car.  We heard a big thud somewhere behind us. "Okay, someone is in trouble," I thought.  Right about that time is when I realized a car was coming toward us, from behind. Bang, right into the back of John and my car.  I thought, "Wow, now this is not possible."  I don't remember too much after that, except that my head jerked hard, John was doing his best to control the car, and then I went forward and then our car went right into the car in front of us.  A four car pile-up.  Yes, I was involved in a four car pile-up. 

The girl all the way in the back admitted it was her fault.  She was cruising along at 35 mph.  She said she was playing with the radio and didn't think the light would turn red, so she didn't look up.  Was looking down and playing with the car radio.  For all I know she was speaking on her cell or texting.  The she shrugged and said, "I didn't mean it.  You know, just one of those things."

But let me digress for a moment.  I said the last thing I remembered was the "bang" when we went into the car in front of us.  That's because I blacked out.  From putting things together, John thinks I was out two or three minutes.  I came to when the girl in the way back, Lauren, who had admitted to the accident, came rapping on my window, after the accident.

So where do things stand now.  I'm going to keep it short, as everything hasn't been settled yet, but I'm suffering from bad pain allover my whole body.  I have severe whiplash amongst other problems.  I am suffering neurological problems.  I am having troubles cognitively -- just trouble problem solving, and remembering.  I walk around in confusion a lot.  I am disoriented at times. For two weeks I didn't know what day of the week it was or what time of the day it was.  I have a lot else going on with my brain, and John has told me he can tell, but I can't tell you what is deficient right now.  That's because I am having trouble even thinking -- my head feels like it is in pea soup.  I don't know if that makes any sense or not. 

I am also having depression and anger.  I think anger in and of itself is a sign of a brain injury anyway. 


Okay, that's all I want to say about it now.    

Except that I am very, very angry.  I don't get angry.  Not like this.  I want my mind back is one of the reasons why I am so angry.  Gee, I am angry.  

I hope I get my mind back.

Would you be angry too, or is that a waste of energy?  I'd love to hear your thoughts, or just a hello from my friends.   krissy  :)