Sunday, November 13, 2011

four car pile up

It's been almost two weeks since the car accident.  It came suddenly, just like that.  One minute your life is going along as always, the next minute everything can change.  Well, not everything, but on some days it sure feels like it.

On November 1, John and I were stopped at a red light, behind another car.  We heard a big thud somewhere behind us. "Okay, someone is in trouble," I thought.  Right about that time is when I realized a car was coming toward us, from behind. Bang, right into the back of John and my car.  I thought, "Wow, now this is not possible."  I don't remember too much after that, except that my head jerked hard, John was doing his best to control the car, and then I went forward and then our car went right into the car in front of us.  A four car pile-up.  Yes, I was involved in a four car pile-up. 

The girl all the way in the back admitted it was her fault.  She was cruising along at 35 mph.  She said she was playing with the radio and didn't think the light would turn red, so she didn't look up.  Was looking down and playing with the car radio.  For all I know she was speaking on her cell or texting.  The she shrugged and said, "I didn't mean it.  You know, just one of those things."

But let me digress for a moment.  I said the last thing I remembered was the "bang" when we went into the car in front of us.  That's because I blacked out.  From putting things together, John thinks I was out two or three minutes.  I came to when the girl in the way back, Lauren, who had admitted to the accident, came rapping on my window, after the accident.

So where do things stand now.  I'm going to keep it short, as everything hasn't been settled yet, but I'm suffering from bad pain allover my whole body.  I have severe whiplash amongst other problems.  I am suffering neurological problems.  I am having troubles cognitively -- just trouble problem solving, and remembering.  I walk around in confusion a lot.  I am disoriented at times. For two weeks I didn't know what day of the week it was or what time of the day it was.  I have a lot else going on with my brain, and John has told me he can tell, but I can't tell you what is deficient right now.  That's because I am having trouble even thinking -- my head feels like it is in pea soup.  I don't know if that makes any sense or not. 

I am also having depression and anger.  I think anger in and of itself is a sign of a brain injury anyway. 


Okay, that's all I want to say about it now.    

Except that I am very, very angry.  I don't get angry.  Not like this.  I want my mind back is one of the reasons why I am so angry.  Gee, I am angry.  

I hope I get my mind back.

Would you be angry too, or is that a waste of energy?  I'd love to hear your thoughts, or just a hello from my friends.   krissy  :)  

16 comments:

  1. Hello friend. Anger is something I deal with all the time. I feel like I was born with it. You will come through whatever life throws at you. That is the one certain thing I know. You are a rock.

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  2. You have a right to be angry, someone else's distraction has led to your post-concussive syndrome. So vent, and you will get better... keep the faith! veronica @ caldreamsquirrel

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  3. Oh yea I'd be angry......and get a good Lawyer



    Melanie

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  4. Accidents are terrible things. I went through one this past summer and I was the cause of it. Plain and simple I didn't see the other guy coming. We never plan accidents and they do make us mad and upset and just plain confused. It takes awhile to recoup. I wasn't ever going to drive again, but I am. I had to accept the fact that accidents do happen and life with out a car wasn't any good at all. I hope you are better soon.

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  5. I have only just come accross your post Krissi.I usually comment in blogger when my time allows me.I ams orry I had no idea this had happened,when I asked you on facebook if I had missed something.Accidents can cause alsorts of things.Please know you are in my prayers always and may God give John the extra stregnth to help you when it is needed.I am here or on FB should you ever want to vent to anyone I am a good listener.I did this comment twice to have it dissapear.Grrrr Take Care God Bless Kath xx

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  6. Oh Krissy, I was so sorry to hear of this accident, especially if she'd been driving like she should have, it wouldn't have happened. Hope that you're getting good Doctor's care for your injuries, just thankful you and John weren't more severely hurt. I'll keep you both in my prayers. AJ

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  7. First, let me say I'm so glad that you and John are basically okay. I know how you feel about wanting your brain back. I've been told I've suffered brain damage from being on a ventilator last Dec. Unfortunetly, it's common. I'm no longer organized, I can't remember things unless I write them down and put notes everywhere. It gets me angry. I'm not the same person. I was told it could take a up to a year for my brain to heal if it's going to. Well, it's no better so I guess I have permanent brain damage. It really is depressing. I surely know how you feel.

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  8. @Tammy, When I read your comment I wanted to cry, as you still stand behind me and call me a rock. I am not deserving of it, but the fact that you just say it means the world to me. You are my and John's rock. We love you. YOU are the rock. Love, krissy :)

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  9. @Veronica -- I have vented and the anger doesn't seem to go away. Oh well. Thanks for reminding me to keep the faith. Love ya, krissy.

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  10. @Malanie -- I am seriously thinking of doing the lawyer thing, for several reasons. Maybe civial lawyer. Her insurance co. told me i couldn't sue bc there was only $5,000 for 4 cars involved, and john and i were already taking uup $2,000 for the cars alone, not including the healthcare, so we couldn't have anymore money. well i have sinse found out i have a concussion and a lot of physical problems as well as cognitive and mood problems. lauren, the girl who admitted it was her fault said it was just one of those things and that I wasn't going to get anymore money than the $2,000 that her insurance is able to give me. Well I say, "Too bad, so sad!" If she didn't purchase enough insurance to drive in my state shes just going to have to get the money out of her personal funds. I don't know exactly how that works but I am going to figure it out. I at least need my medical bills taken care of at the very least. I have had a very hard time living like this. I feel like I have been living through great fogginess and I can't get my brain back no matter how hard i try...

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  11. @'MA' -- Thanks for allowing us to see things from another perspective. And I'm so glad you didn't stop driving. That's great! :)

    krissy :)

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  12. @Kath -- so sorry about the disappearing comments. Sometimes blogger does that. Thanks for being persistent. Thanks for understanding about Facebook. I didn't post about the accident a lot on FB. You see, I don't even like FB very much. I like teitter and blogging. Then why am I on FB? I have no ideA, LOL. I guess bc everyone else is, and i don't want to miss anything important. so if it seems that i miss anything of yours on fb or you miss something of mine of fb i apologize profusely. i do love blogging tough. but as i stated, or maybe i didn't get to state, i don't even get to blog that much anymore, post or read i mean, bc i am constantly going w john to the cancer treatment center w john for once complication treatment or another w him. our lives get very stressful but we will make it through w the Lord's help. No doubt about that! :) But please pray for john on dec 1, he is going to have a particularly hard treatment, and it has always been a major deal in the past. he has had strange allergic reactions to it. but it has gotten his immune ststen back, which he has almost none of, and that is very important, bc having no immune system can kill you. So can the treatment -- it's a trade off -- but the drs are thinking the treatment is the better deal at this time. so can you please pray. And pray this is not too much stress on us at this time. especially while we are doing the paperwork for the car accident, and when my mind is not too sharp. everything is going on at once, LOL, w too many decisions to make. thanks. :) Prayers would be the greatest thing in the world you coud do for me.

    love, krissy :)

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  13. @AJ -- Thanks for the prayers. That's the best thing you can do for John and me! Just finding out that the injuries are a lot worse than i thought they were -- i got evaluated today and found out that I had a concussion during the accident. I've been having horrible headaches for three weeks. My whole body still hurts horribly and the worst of it all is mood and cognitive problems. I have a neurology appt on Dec 5. We'll see what he says. Meanwhile, it would be so special if you continued to pray. I love you, krissy :)

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  14. @Missie -- Oh, I'm so so sorry. You must be not only angry and depressed, but frightened. Frightened that you will never be the way you were before. Do you ever feel frightened? just wondering. It would be hard not having my brain back to normal. I am hoping it won't take me a year, and I'm also hoping I'll be okay by one year. I spoke with a dr today who send I definitely still had symptoms of a concussion after three weeks. I asked her how long it could take me to get back to normal and she said perhaps months, since my case was serious. I was horrified, but not too horrified, as she did make it sound like my mind would come back. Now I'm wondering after reading what you said. Oh well. At least you have smart ideas of posting notes around and all. you have great skills1 way to go girl! I may have to learn some of those. i hope you don't mind if we could compare notes if my mind doesn't improve. that would be great, as i desparately need some skills. thanks hon, love, krissy :)

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  15. Sweet Krissy, so sorry I'm late stopping by, hon. My Johnny is on hospice now so I get kind of overwhelmed, have lost of sleep. I am so sorry to hear about your accident. I can't imagine anybody not being angry, along with being afraid and nervous, as well as uncertain about what your condition is- what it means. I'll have to try to catch up to find out where all this stands, the accident, your health, etc. I will keep John in prayer Dec 1, and will pray that the two of you will be able to handle it all. I know, with God's help, you'll be able too. Big hugs, honey and my best to your John. love you much.

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  16. Hi Krissy, this seems to be your latest post. I hope you and John have made it through the worst of the accident recovery process, and his treatment. Are you both on the mend? Still angry? Anger is definitely a time waster. I know. I don't usually stir to anger easily, so when I started getting angry every day, whether at school or at home, and stayed angry all through the day, I couldn't hide it any longer. Trying to hide it made it worse. I talked to my doctor about being anxious and angry... at my age, turns out it's hormonal (I'm almost 60yrs). Have been in menopause for over 2 years now. So she prescribed something for me. Your anger may certainly be the result of the accident... are you feeling any better this month? Be well, Krissy.

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