Tomorrow (Thursday) John and I go to the Physician's Assistant (she is filling in for his oncologist) to talk about what comes next in his treatment concerning the Myelodysplasia. Gee, the whole thing seems so daunting and ominous. I feel like from this day forth our lives will never be the same. I KNOW our lives will never be the same. I want to turn back, turn back. But there is no turning back. I want him to get help, but I also want to pretend like none of this is happening, and I just want to turn back the clock.
I have been having a rough time these past few days. First I was in shock. Then I became more positive and adjusted and proactive. Now I am slipping some and getting a little depressed. Such a gamut of emotions. I don't want to be depressed. It really scares me. I see myself staring blankly sometimes, just not wanting to deal with things. Lacking concentration. I just CAN'T do that, I have to be here to help John get the best care. And I have to take care of myself also.
It has also been hard because John has been having complications from the kidney stone operation he had last Friday. And I have had to be by his side 24/7. We have been housebound for most of the time except we went to the park once, and for doctor's appointments. It is hard to be in the house all the time! I need to be by his side every second in case he has to go to the Emergency Room. And this could go on for another week or two. Oh well.
I should make this something else besides just a health journal. Hmm, let's see what else is new? Well, my sister Therese woke up this morning (Wednesday) paralyzed from the waist down and was life flighted to a hospital and operated on this morning. I am not sure of her condition. Oops, I guess that is another health situation.
Okay, sorry. I just asked John for some good news to put in here. He told me to tell you all that his Mom (73 years old) has moved in with his foster sister Darla and is very happy now! They are very happy together!
I love life, I really do! And I love the Lord! I am hanging in there.
Well, lots of love to everyone. I will let you know how the appointment went after I come back from it.
All my love, Krissy