Wednesday, July 13, 2005

John helped write this while he was still awake!

I've been struggling lately.  John sleeps all night and half the day.  At least.  When he is not asleep, he is fatigued.  When he is awake, he is not able to do the things he once did.  He used to do a lot of housework such as cooking and cleaning, because my fibromyalgia kept me from doing them.  Most of it he just can't do anymore.  That means some of it just isn't getting done, because I have fibro and diabetes.  I need to try harder to be able to do more. 

One nice thing is that a woman at a church group I belong to  called me today.  She asked what the group could do for us.  I didn't want to accept any help because, well, I just felt bad about accepting help and thought I should be able to do it all myself.  Most women I told her could manage everything themselves, even if they had a husband who was disabled.  She reminded me that I was disabled also, because I have fibro.

She asked me what I really needed.  Did I want somebody to bring over meals?  I told her if that somebody could bring a meal just one day a week I would be thrilled!  I feel so grateful that they are going to do this for us.  Extremely thankful.  

What else is new with John?  He has been having joint pain.  It has been going on for a few weeks now.  Bone pain goes along with bone marrow cancer.  It hurts him when he walks.  It hurts just about any time.  Mostly in his arms and legs.

When I asked John how he felt about what was going on, he said he often feels that this whole thing is unreal, but only for a few moments at a time.  He says he tries not to think about it too deeply.  If he doesn't concentrate on it too much, but only skims the surface when he thinks about his future, it allows him to deal with the bone marrow disease without being overwhelmed by it.  

Hope this entry wasn't too serious for ya'll.  I will try to have a lighter one for you soon!    

29 comments:

  1. How nice to get the offer of help like that.  Do not be embarrassed to accept help, you are both going through a difficult time.  I will continue to pray for you.

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  2. sarajanesmiles7/13/2005 6:20 AM

    They can't all be light hearted Krissy, especially when you and John are going through all that you are.  Just write what you feel.
    I'm glad that the woman from the church group called.  That's so thoughtful.  And you know that you would do the same for someone else if you were in the position to do so, and you wouldn't want them to feel awkward about it, so don't feel bad about accepting help my dear.
    ((((( Krissy and John)))))
    Sara   x

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  3. I can hardly imagine what someone is going thru in John's position Krissy.  It is good that there are such thoughful people as the church that is willing to help.  House work is difficult for me also.  The Neurologist yesterday did a reflex reaction on my legs.  The right one is normal, but the left has no reaction.  She said it was due to the arthritis in my spine.
    Take care and God bless,  -mark-

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  4. jules196420017/13/2005 7:49 AM

    please dont be afraid of accepting help from people. We all need help at times and it could be you that is helping the person who offered, sometime in the future. I know it is difficult for you both and I really admire how strong you are. I am still sending prayers for both of you.........Jules xxxx
    http://journals.aol.co.uk/jules19642001/Itsmylife/

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  5. Krissy,
    Don't feel bad, about accepting help from people...who offer to help out. Maybe, you can find someone to clean your house everyweek. ttfn :)   ~Deborah

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  6. Wow, the generosity of your church group is heart warming.  It goes to show you that there's people out there willing (and eager!) to help.  By helping others, we are left with a sense of fulfillment, it's a way of showing support and love for someone other than ourselves.  Granted, the most difficult part of such generosity is oftentimes felt in the act of receiving.  Sometimes acknowledging our own needs and accepting efforts to help often goes unrealized because of our own pride.  Especially when our culture teaches us to "bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan."  Enjoy your church group's delicious meals and know there's lots of people out there willing to help you and John.
    Best,
    Judith
    http://journals.aol.com/jtuwliens/MirrorMirrorontheWall

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  7. Krissy...Take the help that i ofered, you could use it and peple feel better when they can do somethng. Plus you need your rest. Becauseyou haveto accept a litle help so you can be their for John and you need to take care of yourself. S ometimes it is hard to accept help....but you need it now. Time to swallow your pride and accept the help. I am sure when things are all settled and you and John are doing better you will start helpiing people ...like you have always done............they wouldn't offer if they didnt ant to.............prayers for you and John....................Kasey

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  8. Hey sweets, I was up in the morning with you last night :-)..had a rough time sleeping.  It finally hit me that both my kids were gone and I am now alone, BY MYSELF :-o !!  It was kind of a hard night.  Oh my!  So, I am so glad that the Carmelites offered to help.  Accept any and all help.  Please do as I do know that when people offer to help THEY WANT TO help!!  Try to remember that when it is hard for you to accept it, k, my white rose?  Also, try not to feel guilty.  You have helped so many others out and you need your strength for John and for yourself.  You two are in my constant prayers.  I am a phone call away, loverly!!  Love, your purpely violet in the clovers xox
    http://journals.aol.com/valphish/ValsThoughts

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  9. I am so glad you are getting help!  Don't be afraid to ask, I know it's difficult for you, but mentiuon that you are having some trouble with the daily housework...I am sure they would be very happy to help with that once a week as well!  This is a very trying time for both of you, and it will be so easy to become overwhelmed.  So, let them help...JAE

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  10. love2sing20077/13/2005 12:18 PM

    Aren't church members amazing?  I attended my parish school for 10 years.  When my mom was diagnosed with cancer, and when anyone in the school has a baby, someone always coordinates meals.  It is awesome to see the generosity of people.  God Bless you!  -Kellen

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  11. That is great that some ladies from church are going to help out.  Lord knows you and John need it.  

    Terra

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  12. Ahh Krissy~I'm glad you could accept help; I know it's not easy but people are really glad to do it or they wouldn't offer. I send out a lil prayer that right now neither you nor your husband are feeling much pain. Can't believe I missed the purple photo challenge; as it's my fav color I may try to find one late to post. 0:-)
    God's richest blessings to you & yours, Deb (aka Sassy)

    http://journals.aol.com/Sassydee50/SassysEYE

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  13. Dear Krissy. . .  over my entire life I have had trouble accepting help from anyone. . . even when I needed it.  Then I was enlightened when I was helping others while doing 12 step work in AA.  I received greater rewards while helping others, then I could ever have imagined.  It was than I realized that someone, when needing help and receiving it, when sincerely offered, was actually giving to the helper.  (Thus the helpee becomes a helper.) Please share this with John.  Your dadio. . .

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  14. Krissy don't be too proud to accept help, you and John really need all the outside help you can get. Love to you my friend
    Sylvia xx

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  15. I have trouble accepting help from others too. Glad you have friends close by to help you!
    Keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers!!
    Linda

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  16. God sure does know how to keep us humble and thankful.  The ladies in your church group love you and want to bless you by helping in anyway.  I would tell them the truth of how deep your needs really are.  God has told us we are to carry each other and encourage each other.  Besides helping you and John out, they would also be serving the Lord.  Sometimes we don't relize that when we turn down offers of help we are taking away other's blessings and rewards as well.   Let them help you more with cleaning so that they can store up those treasures in heaven *wink*

    Much Love and Prayers,
    Mary

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  17. That is sooo nice of your group to offer help. I think you should ask for a couple volunteers to help you tidy up too. :-)

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  18. hun now is the time u need help so take it my friend.... that is what friends the church and others are for...  doesnt me  u are taking something u dont need ...yes by all means let everyone help  u now my friend

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  19. springangel2357/14/2005 7:29 AM

    Thank you for the update on John and you...you both are constantly in my prayers.  You both take the help offered and never feel bad about it...if I lived closer to you, I would fix your meals daily...thank goodness you have wonderful people near you that help!  
    Joyce

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  20. shermeen06217/14/2005 3:33 PM

    My gosh, all that you must go through. But I'm a firm believer that the Lord doesn't give us more than we can handle. Take Care.
    Sherms x
    http://journals.aol.co.uk/shermeen0621/PublicThoughts/

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  21. it is the heavy entries that allow me to know exactly how to pray for you and your family.....


    Thank you for sharing them.

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  22. Honey, don't you dare feel bad about not being able to get things done!!!!!!!!  I understand, trust me. My house is well, not condemned, but well lived in! You do what you can, and you know what, it will still be there tommorow or the next day! And accept the help of others. It is there way of saying, "we love you", "we care", "we want to help you"!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  23. This is wonderful that you will be receiving a meal a week.
    Take care.  Both of you.  Tell John the journal land world says hi.  
    I hope our journal world is somewhat of a support system for you.  
    We love you.  I can positively say that, IN HIM...b/c we are sisters and brothers...family!  No matter how far apart nor how many states away.....
    Sonya

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  24. missboogerhead7/14/2005 11:15 PM

    Krissy, I am glad you have those close at hand to help and understand your needs.  Honey, everybody hates to ask for help -- don't feel bad.  But do take solace in the fact that they love you and truly desire to help whereever they are needed!  <<<Hugs>>>
    ~Miss O

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  25. Krissy,
    My thoughts and prayers are always with you. It is so wonderful that you and John have each other and have a wonderful support group with Family, Friends and Church members.
    Kate

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  26. Sweetie,
    I am still praying for you guys.  I am so happy you have a wonderful circle of family and church friends to help you at a time like this.  Love you bunches LuAnne

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  27. dbaumgartner7/17/2005 10:56 AM

    Oh sweetie, thank goodness you are going to get some help.  We all need someone to lean on from time to time.

    You and John are truly in my prayers

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  28. promiseluv3727/17/2005 6:44 PM

    (((Krissy))))
    Is there a local support group you know of for SO of cancer patients?  There is here, it's held at the same time my support group it.  You both should check into it.  I find it gets me through a lot of dark days.  We have a call list too, so if we are struggling we can phone each other night or day.  I know the S.O. group is the same... You both need people who are going through what you are, and some other's to rely on.
    Luv,
    Promise

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  29. marcusgangsta7/22/2005 5:25 AM

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