John helped write this while he was still awake!

I've been struggling lately.  John sleeps all night and half the day.  At least.  When he is not asleep, he is fatigued.  When he is awake, he is not able to do the things he once did.  He used to do a lot of housework such as cooking and cleaning, because my fibromyalgia kept me from doing them.  Most of it he just can't do anymore.  That means some of it just isn't getting done, because I have fibro and diabetes.  I need to try harder to be able to do more. 

One nice thing is that a woman at a church group I belong to  called me today.  She asked what the group could do for us.  I didn't want to accept any help because, well, I just felt bad about accepting help and thought I should be able to do it all myself.  Most women I told her could manage everything themselves, even if they had a husband who was disabled.  She reminded me that I was disabled also, because I have fibro.

She asked me what I really needed.  Did I want somebody to bring over meals?  I told her if that somebody could bring a meal just one day a week I would be thrilled!  I feel so grateful that they are going to do this for us.  Extremely thankful.  

What else is new with John?  He has been having joint pain.  It has been going on for a few weeks now.  Bone pain goes along with bone marrow cancer.  It hurts him when he walks.  It hurts just about any time.  Mostly in his arms and legs.

When I asked John how he felt about what was going on, he said he often feels that this whole thing is unreal, but only for a few moments at a time.  He says he tries not to think about it too deeply.  If he doesn't concentrate on it too much, but only skims the surface when he thinks about his future, it allows him to deal with the bone marrow disease without being overwhelmed by it.  

Hope this entry wasn't too serious for ya'll.  I will try to have a lighter one for you soon!