Hi journal friends. Good friends! If you are worried about me being up so late, don't be. I took a six hour nap today, LOL. Actually, it didn't start out too funny. I was over at the hospital with John. All the sudden I noticed i was feeling, well, impatient, trapped, like I had cabin fever. Oh, my eyes are tearing up as I read this. I feel like such a bad wife. I usually stay with John till late at night. But I was feeling stir-crazy. That is the word that I wanted to use. That doesn't usually happen until I have been at the hospital for two weeks or maybe a month. So here I am, sitting next to John, feeling I need to take a break, and it is day two! It was kind of like having cabin fever. And I am no good for John like that either. I get anxious and grouchy.
I told John that I didn't feel well. Actually I was tired. It was only two o'clock and I was exhausted. I guess a lot of it was emotional exhaustion. "Go back to Hope Lodge and go to bed," John said. "But you won't have anybody here with you," I replied." "That's OK," John said. "You will be back in the morning. What time does the next van leave? You better hurry so you can catch it." So I told him I loved him and ran out the door and caught the shuttle back to Hope Lodge. Then I took a six hour nap, LOL. Now I feel like a human. Slightly guilty, but like a human. But not too guilty, because I will be better for John tomorrow.
Which is a good thing. He is going to have a bronchioscopy around noon. By the way, his oncologist (Dr. E., the one he has right now - they rotate every two weeks) said any blood clots have been reabsorbed by the heparin. Now they are dealing with pneumonia. So Dr. E. called in a pulmonary specialist. The pulmonary specialist explained the bronchoscopy. She said that they would probably take a few snippets of John's lungs, and do a wash of them, to try to determine what type of pneumoniaJohn has. A nurse told John that he should "pray for bacterial pneumonia. Bacterial pneumonia we can do something about. Fungal pneumonia is much harder."
You know, if you read stories about stem cell transplant patients, you sometimes read about those who die from fungal pneumonia. Usually it is from a fungal pneumonia called Aspergillosis. Read more about it here. One gets it from mold, such as from mold outside, or in an air conditioning vent. At any rate, I have to try not to panic here... Maybe it is not even the type of pneumonia he has...
Be right back, going to get something to eat, LOL. Wow, another night person like me, somebody else has gotten up to study their schoolwork and have coffee! BRB.
Now I am good to go! I have some chicken, two chocolate cookies, and a diet coke, LOL. I'm laughing at the cookies-diet coke combo!
So that's about it. I was going to tell you about something else but I am going to wait till tomorrow. I am going to see if the issue resolves itself. I can't find something, and I think somebody here stole it. But I want to wait to see if it turns up before I assume that. We work as such a family here at Hope Lodge. Everybody pitches in and helps one another. I don't understand why somebody would do this to me. More about this tomorrow.
Gee, I am thinking about the VIVIs now that the voting is over. Because I think they are special, they are truly peer awards. I am sad that I won't be able to be in the chat room this year when the VIVIs are announced. It was so much fun last year. The pulmonary specialist said John would be in the hospital for awhile. This saddens me that John is so sick. And yes, it saddens me a little that I will miss out on the VIVI announcements. But of course I would rather John have the care he needs. I am also saddened that I won't get to vote in the political elections tomorrow (Tuesday). I didn't even get to research everybody who was running before John was taken to the hospital. I should have known enough to get us absentee ballots. It is just that John was out of the hospital three weeks and I got complacent, thinking it would be longer. Silly me. I hope we will be home the month of December. I want to spend Christmas at home...
Ok, enough rambling, I hope all is well with you all. I am not going to be able to visit too many journals while I am here, just a hit and miss here and there. I know you all will understand.
Love you all, hang on, Krissy :)