Wednesday, July 16, 2008

what's been going on lately

So much has happened lately, and because the computer has been switching on and off, and because I just haven't had time, I haven't written about what has been going on in the past week or so. 
 
It's been rough lately.  I woke up early this morning because my back was spasming.  We are talking waves and waves of spasms.  I had to get up about 4 am, because laying there made the spasming worse.  This has been going on for several weeks.  I am on muscle relaxant number four, in the past couple of weeks, because none of them would work.  I switched again hoping this last muscle relaxant would take care of the spasms, or at least lessen the pain.  I wish I hadn't asked my physician to switch me again.  This one works the least best.
 
To walk around in such pain makes me feel so edgey.  Sometimes I am snapping at John.  That is so unlike me.  And sometimes I can't get any housework done.  Sometimes I just cry.  Nights are the very worst.  I lay there waiting for morning to come so I can get up.  I think nights are particularly bad because I tense up, bracing myself against the spasms.  This only makes them worse.  After awhile I give up and get up.  I am sure the sleep deprivation is not helping me any.
 
I'm also disappointed that the Sports Medicine Physician told me, a couple of days ago - that I needed to go see the Orthopedic Surgeon to possibly get the procedure I was hoping to avoid.  After my occupational therapy ended about a month ago, even though I have been doing my exercises at home, my left shoulder/arm has not been getting any better.  Well, my shoulder and arm appeared to be getting better for awhile, but the progress seems to have reversed itself.  Dr. Bosha (the Sports Medicine Physician)  told me that this sometimes happens.  That somebody can only progress so far with OT and exercises at home.  Some people never progress beyond a certain point and need surgery anyway, regardless of how many exercises they do.
 
Who would have thought?  Now he is sending me to the surgeon.  I asked him if there was the possibility if another tear could occur in my rotator cuff, like the injury I had before, if the surgery was performed.  Actually, it is not surgery, per se, Dr. Bosha explained.  While you are asleep, the surgeon takes your shoulder and moves it around, to break up all the scar tissue.  Dr. Bosha said no, I would not have another tear in my rotator cuff.  Not one that would have to be mended by surgery, anyway.  Just a bunch of little tears would occur.  *Sigh* 
 
After surgery I will have to go back to Occupational Therapy.  At the Physical Therapy Outpatient Facility.  And know what?  I don't have time.  John is having some problems.  I need to be here for him.  He could be called to go to Hershey Medical Center (his hospital, and bone marrow transplant center, a couple of hours a way) at any time.  He will definitely have to go on July 28, but maybe has to go sooner.  A lot is going on with him right now medically...  I need to tell you all about it, but this entry is getting too long, and I don't think you want three entries from me today, LOL.  So I will post about it tomorrow if my computer is still alive.  Suffice it to say that John needs me, if nothing else to keep him out of trouble and away from germs to keep his immune system up!
 
At the same time, yes, I need to look after myself.  Hmmmm, such a juggling act!  Yes, I will take care of myself also, both of us at the same time...
 
Thanks for sticking with me,  Krissy :)

27 comments:

  1. I am so sorry you are in so much pain.  I can't imagine having to live with the day after day after day.  Maybe you should just INVESTIGATE the surgery.   See what it entails.  Maybe it won't be as bad as you think and you will recuperate quickly.  Don't say no until you have all the facts.

    Hang in there my friend....hope John is OK.

    ((hugs))
    Jeanne

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  2. I read Johns entry this morning so I do know that you are both going through a difficult time right now.  I'll continue praying. 'On Ya' - ma

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  3. All I can do is send love and understanding your way and prayers for you and John- Dannelle

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  4. hi Krissy~
    I just heard about your John
    left him a comment
    like they say
    even if you have insomnia
    with no pain
    if you can't fall asleep
    in a half hour's time
    better to just get up
    for John not to be able
    to go with you to hospital
    must be so hard...

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  5. I understand so well.  Chronic pain makes you tired, crabby, and exasperated at everything.  I hope your pain lessens soon...

    ~Amy

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  6. specialadyfink7/16/2008 1:27 PM

    WoW-that's alot to bear.So so sorry you are going through this.Hope you find a relaxer that works for you.
    In my prayers....
    connie

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  7. Sending up prayers for both of you. Helen

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  8. (((Krissy))) I'm so sorry to hear about your spasms and the possibility you might need to have surgery; I know you could "handle" the things going on with John's health if you were doing better physically, but I can understand how draining it must be to be under the weather and then, of course, be worried about John. I will continue to pray for healing for both of you

    betty

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  9. You support each other to an incredible extent, Krissy, even though you've both got challenges in your health. You do great.

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  10. heavenlybama7/16/2008 4:38 PM

    I'll tell ya Krissy.....you, John, Den, & I are so alike.  We all have things going on and have to be there for each other that sometimes we neglect ourselves. Though lately, the last few months, Den has been taking care of me.   Having another knee surgery tomorrow, he'll be taking care of me a few more weeks.  Praying for both of you.
    Hugs,
    Dana

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  11. hugsdoodlewacky7/16/2008 5:02 PM

    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((KRISSY)))))))))))))))))I am sorry you are going through so much.I wish I can do something for you.Just know I am praying that your pain goes away and I am praying for John.

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  12. Prayers coming your way

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  13. Oh dear Krissy, you have my prayers coming your way, hope that you'll be lucky and not have to have the surgery.  You and John have a lot on your plate right now....seems like every day, life brings another challenge to all of us doesn't it. Wish we all lived close by so we could come and help you with whatever you need taken care of.  Bless you, Arlene (AJ)

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  14. nightmaremom7/16/2008 6:23 PM

    sending prayers and good vibes your way...  gentle hugs to.  Good luck and I know it will all work out
    love ya
    d

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  15. You have a lot going on right now.  You have John to worry about and yourself to take care of.  Keeping you both in my prayers!
    Missie

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  16. Hugs Krissy,

    I read about John in his journal - prayers are being said for both of you.

    I know you need to be there for him - i hope you feel better fast- and that what ever it is can be fixed easily.

    Hang in there I am praying for you both.

    Love,
    Michelle

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  17. Sending you lots and lots of virtual HUGS, Krissy. You're in my prayers.

    Sweet Memories
    http://mummyjam.blogspot.com

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  18. onestrangecat7/17/2008 5:47 PM

    you and john are in my prayers.

    Kathy

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  19. Hi Krissy;
        You're both in my prayers. I know exactly where your at here, too. Bill was in and out of the hospital twice in the last month. At the same times my allergies flared up so badly, my throat was closing. As much as I wanted to tell someone, please take this off my back and let me get over this awful reaction, I couldn't. I couldn't breath. I couldn't stop coughing, and I couldn't sleep either. Just remember, 'This too will pass.' Just wish it moved along more quickly. Good luck with the spasms and with any operation you face. And good luck with John.
    Jude
    http://journals.aol.com/jmorancoyle/MyWay

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  20. randlprysock7/18/2008 1:54 AM

    I will say prayers for you Krissy!!  I hear you on the sleep deprivation and the crying at night too.... may the Lord grant us both a good night's sleep.
    Lisa

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  21. I am keeping you can john both in my prayers
    hugs
    Sherry

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  22. I feel for you Krissy, I really do.  I have been experiencing bad back pain myself for the last month.  Sitting is painful, standing is painful and lying down.  I have never had an attack last this long.  I do hope you get the help that you need.  I have put off seeing my doctor because I cannot take anti-inflammation tablets anyway and to be honest, I have had enough of medical appointments for a while.  I will pray extra hard for you.  Hugs xxxx

    http://journals.aol.co.uk/jeanno43/JeannettesJottings/

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  23. I'm sorry to read your suffering so much Krissy xx  I wish they could sort it out in one simple procedure but it sounds a bit of a nightmare what they want you to go through.  Wishing you the best xxx

    Jenny

    http://journals.aol.co.uk/Jmoqueen/MyLife

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  24. Krissy,

    Sorry to hear you're having so many muscle spasms in your back.  That has to be extremely tough to deal with--particularly when it prevents you from sleeping at night.  Praying that God will give you relief and that He will "give His beloved sleep."

    Love and prayers,
    Jeanne

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  25. Krissy with all you have to deal with, you still manage to keep such a positive attitude and smile. You are such a brave and generous soul and you give us all fortitude for keeping on with our daily lives. I do really hope the surgery will make a difference. You and John are role models for hope to all of us!
    Nancy

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  26. Krissy, It sounds as if surgery is your best alternative after all. I think you tried everything and it just wasn't enough. I am so sorry for you.  I know right now you are conderned about John with good reason and I hope you can still get this taken care of. I really don't think you should wait too long. Someday privately email me, I just got back from vacation.  I will be writting and or calling you more.  I love you, Krissy, my sistah. Merry

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  27. Oh Krissy.............. I am so very sorry to hear that you will probably need the operation after all............ poor you. Keeping you in my prayers
    hugs Jayne

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