So much has happened lately, and because the computer has been switching on and off, and because I just haven't had time, I haven't written about what has been going on in the past week or so.
It's been rough lately. I woke up early this morning because my back was spasming. We are talking waves and waves of spasms. I had to get up about 4 am, because laying there made the spasming worse. This has been going on for several weeks. I am on muscle relaxant number four, in the past couple of weeks, because none of them would work. I switched again hoping this last muscle relaxant would take care of the spasms, or at least lessen the pain. I wish I hadn't asked my physician to switch me again. This one works the least best.
To walk around in such pain makes me feel so edgey. Sometimes I am snapping at John. That is so unlike me. And sometimes I can't get any housework done. Sometimes I just cry. Nights are the very worst. I lay there waiting for morning to come so I can get up. I think nights are particularly bad because I tense up, bracing myself against the spasms. This only makes them worse. After awhile I give up and get up. I am sure the sleep deprivation is not helping me any.
I'm also disappointed that the Sports Medicine Physician told me, a couple of days ago - that I needed to go see the Orthopedic Surgeon to possibly get the procedure I was hoping to avoid. After my occupational therapy ended about a month ago, even though I have been doing my exercises at home, my left shoulder/arm has not been getting any better. Well, my shoulder and arm appeared to be getting better for awhile, but the progress seems to have reversed itself. Dr. Bosha (the Sports Medicine Physician) told me that this sometimes happens. That somebody can only progress so far with OT and exercises at home. Some people never progress beyond a certain point and need surgery anyway, regardless of how many exercises they do.
Who would have thought? Now he is sending me to the surgeon. I asked him if there was the possibility if another tear could occur in my rotator cuff, like the injury I had before, if the surgery was performed. Actually, it is not surgery, per se, Dr. Bosha explained. While you are asleep, the surgeon takes your shoulder and moves it around, to break up all the scar tissue. Dr. Bosha said no, I would not have another tear in my rotator cuff. Not one that would have to be mended by surgery, anyway. Just a bunch of little tears would occur. *Sigh*
After surgery I will have to go back to Occupational Therapy. At the Physical Therapy Outpatient Facility. And know what? I don't have time. John is having some problems. I need to be here for him. He could be called to go to Hershey Medical Center (his hospital, and bone marrow transplant center, a couple of hours a way) at any time. He will definitely have to go on July 28, but maybe has to go sooner. A lot is going on with him right now medically... I need to tell you all about it, but this entry is getting too long, and I don't think you want three entries from me today, LOL. So I will post about it tomorrow if my computer is still alive. Suffice it to say that John needs me, if nothing else to keep him out of trouble and away from germs to keep his immune system up!
At the same time, yes, I need to look after myself. Hmmmm, such a juggling act! Yes, I will take care of myself also, both of us at the same time...
Thanks for sticking with me, Krissy :)