Monday, January 1, 2007

new year's day

      

I'm looking back and being kind of reflective today.  Wow,  a whole year gone.  It seems like it lasted ten years, actually, LOL.  This was one of the hardest years of my life.  But many blessings came out of it as well.

I am grateful that both of John's cancers are cured.  Yes, you heard me right.  When we went to his last appointment, Dr. Claxton said both the Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma and the bone marrow cancer (MDS) were cured.  And there was only a ten percent chance either one would come back for the rest of John's life.

Two diseases down, one to go.  He still has Autoimmune Hemolytic Anemia.  And to be honest with you, it is getting a little frustrating.  He already had some treatments of IVIG for it.  Then he had four weeks of chemo.  Now he is having eight more weeks of chemo.  I believe he only has one or two weeks left.

The sad thing is, it doesn't appear to be working.  Sure it slowed the disease down.  He hasn't had to get as much blood.  But he still needs transfusions.  And now that the chemo will be stopping, his Hemoglobin and Hematocrit will plummet right down again, and stay there, especially if he doesn't have blood.  Actually, without the transfusions he will just die.  So what is his lot in life, lifelong transfusions?

Of course there is the possibility that the removal of his spleen will work.  I imagine they are going to do that some time pretty soon.  If it doesn't work, well, I just don't know what we will do.  I am not trying to be negative here, just thinking.  But all I have is one day at a time...  It is just that it never occurred to me that it WOULDN'T work until Dr. Claxton mentioned a couple of weeks ago that it might not.  That put a little damper on things.

So I'll just have to take things one day at a time.  Lord give me the strength to get through 2007, doing everything I need to do, and keeping hope while I do it.  And hopefully spreading some hope and cheer to others.  And helping John through.  He looked a little bit sad this morning (while laying on the hospital bed this morning getting transfused).  That is not like him at all.  When he gets over his introspection and gets his balance I am sure he will do fine...

Having said that I look forward with a little bit of weariness toward the future, in my heart is a heaping dose of hope.  This spleenectomy thing could work.  Or something else could be invented in the future.  Modern medicine is making advances all the time.  And the Lord heals sometimes.  Actually He heals all the time, sometimes miraculously, sometimes through a doctor, sometimes when we get to Heaven.  But we are always okay.  And another thing.  The focus is always put on healing.  But what about putting it on the character of the person, and how he or she changes because of their ailment.  While I can't say I wished this upon me and John, we have grown tremendously from everything last year.  We are more in love than we ever were.  We have better spiritual lives.  We realize what is important.  We are closer to our families and friends.  I have gained more confidence in dealing with others (especially medical professionals, LOL).  If something needs to be done for someone I love, I MAKE it happen!  I used to be a Scaredy Cat.  I have more courage now.  John has grown in so many virtuous traits and has encouraged so many people by his courage.  I can't say that this isn't where we are meant to be today.  God works all things together for good for those who love Him, as the Bible says.  So all is good...

What will this year bring?  I don't know.  We are starting off with John breaking down his blood too quickly and needing more, his white blood cell count too low - thereby causing him to risk infection, John only having 20 % of his kidney function left - and told he will be dialyzed in a certain number of years.  That's a lot of uncertainty.  Yet he is alive.  Very much so.  What will this year bring?  Who knows.

One thing I do wonder is, am I getting lost in all of this?  I have spent all these paragraphs mentioning him and neglecting me!  God is my first priority.  Then I put John up there, then myself.  But gee, what do I really do for myself???  I think I am going to have to go back and think on that one, maybe tomorrow.  And yes, I am one of those who do make New Year's resolutions.  Or should I say I am going to make goals for myself to have a better year, and to better myself.  Fit some "me time" in there, so I will even be more better able to help John.  Eating right, exercise, prayer, etc.

Wow, this has gotten entirely too long.  I just wanted to say I love each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart.  Thank you for standing beside me in 2006.  Let's make 2007 the best year yet!

Love you all dearly, Krissy  :)     

34 comments:

  1. Krissy, you and John have been through a lot, thankfully you've gotten the good news tht his cancers are cured, that's a blessing in itself.  Know you are worried and concerned about the Anemia, just take it one day at a time dear and know he's in our prayers as are you dear. Make every day special Krissy, keep your spirits up and know we all care.....Bless you both....Arlene (AJ)

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  2. You have endured to much this year and you are still positive, hopeful, and loving of God.  You are a very strong woman with a very strong faith and I so admire you for those qualities.  My wish for you in 2007 is some peace.  I hope that John can remain strong and can keep his fighting spirit and I hope that you are able to find, and take advantage of, some relaxing and rejuvenating time for yourself.

    HAPPY NEW YEAR!

    ((hugs))
    Jeanne

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  3. Dear Krissy,
    This entry is a wonderful example of a piece of you...loving, caring, hopeful, faithful--A wife; God's servant. I SAW You in this entry.
    I wish John a speedy recovery in 2007 and to both of you, another year of loving and growing together.

    Happy new Year,
    Gem :-)

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  4. Hi Krissy.  You've endured a lot this last year.  Both of you.  May this year bring even more blessings and love to you both.
    Pam

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  5. Hi Krissy, this is such a heartfelt entry. You know since John has been cured of two cancers there is a good chance he will be cured of this disease also. He is a strong man and you are a strong woman to be able to put his needs and feelings before your own. My prayers are for both of to have the strength to get through this. May 2007 be a much better and happier year for you both. Hugs, Helen

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  6. You are wonderful Krissy!  When it comes to hope-ology, you are the head mistress!  I sooo appreciate how you weave positives in your ruminations.  Two cancers down, one more to go.
    Happy New Year, my friend.
    Judith

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  7. Praying this is the year of total healing, health and happiness for the two of you!  -  Barbara

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  8. beautiful, heartfelt, open letter.

    Happy New year...

    Nancy

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  9. Two cancers cured. Krissy, one cured is a miracle! John had two! He is a walking testimony that there is a God and He loves John. Have faith my friend. John has the greatest Healer ever working with him! Tammy

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  10. midwestvintage1/01/2007 6:04 PM

     That is great news about the 2 cancers that are cured.  I am hoping they find something for the anemia.  You 2 have been through enough.  Have a better 2007.

                              Julie

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  11. irisheyes19291/01/2007 6:20 PM

    What a year for you!  I'm so glad the cancers are gone.  Many prayers for the rest of the recovery.  
    2006 truly was a very long year.  2007 will be amazing!  
    I continue to pray for you and John every day.
    Much love and hope,
    Kellen

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  12. At least the cancers have gone, but this AHA is a major headache. This sort of event will serve to focus the mind, as you don't need me to tell you Krissy.

    All the best for 2007 for John and yourself, and you'll both come through it guns blazing :-)

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  13. Wonderful entry. I'm so glad to hear both cancers are cured!!

    I hope 2007 brings the both of you so much joy. You sooooooo deserve it!

    Lv Stevie
    xxx

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  14. hugsdoodlewacky1/01/2007 7:33 PM

    (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((KRISSY/JOHN)))))))))))))))))))))))))I am pryaing for you both.

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  15. jlocorriere051/01/2007 8:35 PM

    I'm happy to hear the two cancers are cured and hope they can do something different for John to cure the AHA. I think you've been absolutely wonderful the way you've got through this with John. You certainly deserve some 'me time', I hope you manage to get some! Happy new year to you both! Jeannette xx  http://journals.aol.co.uk/jlocorriere05/Welcometomytravels/

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  16. This has certainly been a 'roller-coaster' year for you guys. Here's hoping that 2007 is a wonderful year for you guys... with health, wealth, and happiness!

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  17. Happy New Year, Krissy!  I am so happy that John is cured of his cancers.  You are an amazing person.  Even though I don't always comment in your journal, I have followed your story.  You are both an inspiration.  God bless you both, and may you have a wonderful 2007!
    Jackie

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  18. tendernoggle1/01/2007 10:50 PM

    God bless the both of you.......You have both been through so much...I think you are so awesome...so brave and strong...I wish I were near so I could lend you a hand soemtimes..but as it is I will pray for you both...
    God bless,
    love,
    carlene

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  19. happy new year love...praying everything works out

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  20. The good new about the cancer's being cured is certainly a positive development.   I think you are right about new cures being developed all the time and all you and John can do is wait.     I think you should try to think about something other than the medical aspects and do something that takes your mind off of it.    Live today for today and tomorrow will take care of itself or so the saying goes I believe.     Make everyday special in the new year and John and you have my prayers.     mark

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  21. Dear Krissy and John,    HAPPY NEW YEAR 2007    Krissy, that  was a wonderful entry.  We believe that all your good work is, in itself great prayers.  Love,  Your mother and dadeo.

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  22. lifesabench61/02/2007 12:55 PM

    Hey Krissy- Happey New year!   I am so glad that John's cancers are gone.  I'm sad though that this other one is hard on him- and you.  You two are high up there on my inspiration list- you are so strong and amazing how you both are dealing with all of this.  Keep that in mind- and like you said, take one day at a time, and always remember that God is in control- that all things, no matter how hard, work together for His good.  I know it's easy for someone like me to say all that, when I'm not going through a whole lot- and nothing compared to you or alot of my friends are dealing with right now- but when something does happen that I have to deal with, I am so grateful that God has blessed me with so many strong and courageous friends to look to for examples.  God Bless you both!!!  Love Carolyn

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  23. dbaumgartner1/02/2007 2:06 PM

    One day and one step this is how we've made it so far.  Keep stepping and things will happen.

    Here's wishing you and John a  great New Year filled with possibilities.

    Hugs to you both,

    Deb

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  24. I am very happy for you and John in regards to the Cancer. How Wonderful, and as you said, take the rest one day at a time, with the help of the only Healer there is - God. May you be blessed in this upcoming year Krissy.
    Michele
    http://journals.aol.com/glensfork4/these-are-my-thoughts/

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  25. Hugs and prayers to you both, Krissy. Thank you for showing me what true courage is all about. Please forgive my absence for most of this year, but you & John have been in my thoughts, and especially now. Best wishes for the new year, and I'll try not to be such a stranger.

    God's Blessings,
    Tom

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  26. Krissy, I came to congratulate you on your 100 yr. thing Val mentioned to me.  Then I reead you entry.  It makes me so sad.  People think poor John, and that is certainly true, but sometimes it's harder to watch the one you love be sick, have surgery, treatments than it is to have them yourself
    The miralce to me is John and you are more in love than ever, and both such Christian people.  I admire you more than I can put into words.  Happy New Year Krissy!  Happy New Year Joh!  May next year be BETTER! Love and Hugs,  Merry

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  27. promiseluv3721/02/2007 10:26 PM

    Oh hunny,
    I wish you and John both the best in 2007 I PRAY nightly for him and for strength for you!  

    You've helped me so much ...giving me support and just lending an ear this last year.  I love you so very much!

    Promise

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  28. Happy New Year Krissy and John!!!  May the New Year be a happy and healthy one for you both!  May you continually grow in love.  Love you too, sweetie!  Hope you find the "me time" that you need.
    Hugs,
    Gina

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  29. Happy New Year, may it be a blessed one for you both

    hugs
    angelrose

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  30. HAPPY NEW YEAR.  YOU AND JOHN ARE ALWAYS IN MY PRAYERS.  I HOPE THE SPLEENECTOMY WORKS FOR JOHN.  KEEP FAITH AND STAY STRONG
    HUGS
    NOELLE

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  31. xxroxymamaxx1/04/2007 9:30 AM

    Krissy, I know you have had a rough year in 2006.  But I hope 2007 is much better for you and John.  Happy new Year!  Love ya, Shelly

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  32. Happy New Year Krissy and John, I`m sorry this is so late but I`m really behind at the moment. It`s very heartening to hear how John`s illness has made the two of you even stronger as a couple. You are certainly being well looked after from above. God bless you both.

    Sandra xxxx

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  33. Belated Happy New Year AND Happy Birthday to John!!I can't believe 2006 has come and gone.  PRAISE GOD that John's cancers are healed. Now we nee to concentrate on the other things .  And you're right Krissy, you gotta take care of you & your needs.  You can't get lost in the shuffle.  A bubble bath, a hair appointment, a manicure.  Any small little thing that gets you focused on yourself.  I believe it makes us better wives.  Take care of yourselves & I hope & pray that 2007 is the best year ever for you both!
    Warm hugs, Barb  

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  34. happy new year :O)

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