Thursday, June 26, 2008

MIA

Hi.  Ugh.  Finally an entry.  I have wanted to do one for ages.  But I have been having these horrendous muscle spasms in my back racking me over and over.
 
Oh, and one word of advice for you if you have fibromyalgia.  Don't call the doctor on call at your primary care office and tell him you have fibro.  Say it is "severe spasms in your back".  Or he'll brush you off.
 
What I mean is this.  A couple of nights ago, waves and waves of pain were washing over my back and my body.  I was crying and didn't know what to do.  Then it hit me, I should call the doctor on call at my doctor's office.  I called him up.  I told him I needed a muscle relaxant, and that I had fibro.
 
I thought he would just call something into my pharmacy.  He heard the word fibro (which many doctors don't believe in over here) and he said, "Take some tylenol.  Go to bed.  You don't need to go to the hospital, see your doctor soon."
 
Okay, so like I got off the phone and started going a little wiggy because I couldn't stand the pain.  I started, well, crying kind of a lot.  I called Valerie and she was asleep.  Actually, John called her, I couldn't even do that.  
 
Then I called my Dad.  "I'm going over to the hospital.  I don't care what that doctor said, he's not the one that's going to wake up at 3 AM racked in pain."
 
So John and I went to the hospital (The Emergency Room), and I was treated very respectfully.  I couldn't believe it.  The doctor felt certain parts of my back and said it was obvious that I was having back spasms and cramps!  That was a relief!  To be believed!  He gave me some muscle relaxants and a script.   
 
Want to know what a back spasm feels like?  Your back spasms and then locks all the sudden before it releases again.  It is a severe muscle cramp pain.  I finally figured out what it was sort of comparable to last night.  It is very similar to when you get a cramp in your calf or your thigh.  Only with my flare ups in my back they happen over and over again, these cramps, as soon as thirty seconds apart sometimes, and could potentially go on for hours.  Just cramps washing over me. 
 
That is why if I tell somebody I can't make a commitment I just can't.
 
So where is this entry leading?  I don't know.  I don't want sympathy comments.  Certainly not.  Just the thought of that makes me sad.  Then why did I write this?  To tell you all why I have not been around much.   
 
Gee, there wasn't even a photo shoot topic this week.  I know, I know, you will say it doesn't matter.
 
I also wrote this entry because I wanted to tell you what was REALLY going on in my life.
 
I want to do more "real" entries, in this blog.  Not just factual things about hot dogs or something.  Entries that have to do with my life.  If I was gone for four days, and just came back and stuck up something factual, with nothing about me, you would not know anything about me or what I have been up to.  I don't like that.  That's why I shared with you the things that have been going on the last few days of my life.  
 
I want my blog to be about so much morethan it is!  I'm trying to be more personal.  Some people would probably say I wear my heart out on my sleeve too much already.  But when do I do that?  When I am telling you about some illness or that I have completed OT or something.  I feel like I have a blog about sickness sometimes, LOL. 
 
So to all my readers who have stayed with me, even when this blog has gotten kind of boring, and not enough about my personal life, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.  I promise to put more of myself into my blog now.  Not because I have to, but because I want to.
 
Love you all,
 
Krissy :)

23 comments:

  1. Pain is real just like friendship and love. Medical people should be worthy of their chosen profession. Sorry you had a bad experience. You write from the heart and from the inner Krissy don't worry about entries, IT"S YOUR JOURNAL not ours. We are visitors and those of us that love you will remain followers! Dannelle (Tell John he made the right move in calling Val and you going to hospital. Thank you John.)

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  2. I don't mind if you write about hot dogs, but I'm food obsessed, so there you go.  LOL

    I SO understand what you mean about feeling relieved when somebody believes you're in pain.  It's so demeaning to have to beg for somebody to believe you hurt, and you don't just want drugs for the hell of it.  I remember one time I had gone to the ER (for my kidneys) and everybody was like 'uh huh...yeah....you'll be fine...did you take Tylenol....' and one of the nurses came in, saw my face, and put some morphine in my drip.  About 10 minutes later I started crying and she was like "It still hurts?!" and I said "No...I'm crying because you believed me enough to help me make it go away."  :-/

    ~Amy

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  3. How awful to be in such pain and not be believed by a doctor, thank goodness the doctor at the hospital was so sympathetic and treated you for your pain. I think should be able to write what you like Krissy and if you want to say something personal, well go ahead, It`s nice to hear about the real you.  Take care and I hope your back gets easier nowe you have some pain relief.

    Love Sandra xxxx

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  4. I don't think it's just the doctors in your area.  There are a lot of them all over who have the same feelings.  Krissy, I have to ask...do you drink diet soda's?  And a lot of processed foods...like hot dogs & bologna?  When I worked in a clinic here in my town, there was a pamphlet about fibromyalgia & those food items were listed among the greatest contributors of the symptoms.  One of the nurses had it so bad she was on the verge of loosing her job (she missed so much work). She was drinking nearly a 6 pack of Diet Coke everyday...she read the pamphlet, quit the Diet Coke and within 2 weeks her symptoms were nearly gone. She was a new woman.  I had muscle spasms in my back when I got hurt on the job in 1991.  After the first surgery the spasms caused worse pain than the surgery incision did. Take care...Linda in WA  

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  5. kristijohnson726/26/2008 3:30 PM

    Hey if the fibro is what is going on in your life right now, write about the fibro!  If teaching sugar gliders to dance the marenge is what is going on then write about that.

    All of us out here with chronic pain know that sometimes a person has to vent it out there.

    I know what you mean about the doctors not believing you.  In some circles it seems that fibromyalgia is the new code for hypochondria.  Glad to hear you found someone to help you out.

    Kristi J

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  6. Hope you feel better really soon Krissy, it sounds horrendous.

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  7. What we need I think is more women in politics that can bring to light our medical issues for more research in our womanly problems. Problem is that there have always been Men in charge and of course they put their needs first. If I see one more commercial that has to do with a man's penis, whether to enlarge,erect or stay longer at the helm, I'm going to scream. Honestly have you seen these? It drives me nuts,especially when someone like you is in such pain and clearly needs more attention than a man's "pride"!!! So pleas, whether republican,democrat or independent, vote for the ladies ladies! whenever possible!!
    Nancy

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  8. peytonswater6/26/2008 4:43 PM

    oh sweetie, I am sorry to hear this.  I know what you mean about drs and fibro, however more are coming around. My dad suffers from it. I would be finding a new dr. ASAP and take a copy of your report and mail it to him with a letter and start broadening his horizons.
    Love
    Ang

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  9. I know there are so many doctors out there still who don't believe in Fibro.  They just think we're nuts.  I'm glad you were finally able to get some meds to help give you some relief.
    Missie

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  10. Are there doctors who SPECIALIZE in fibro?  Sounds like you need to find someone who has a better understanding of what you are going through!  I'm so sorry you have been in pain.

    And YES...I am still here....still reading....still commenting.  You share whatever you feel comfortable with!!!

    ((hugs))
    Jeanne

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  11. nightmaremom6/26/2008 6:15 PM

    ohhhh Krissy I am so sorry you've been in pain... wish I could do something .. a magic wand maybe? :) (see entry for a smile)   You post what you want.. I'm here for it all.
    love ya
    d

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  12. Krissy, you are never boring.  You are human and that's why you are loved by so many people in Jland. They love you, that means the intellectual Krissy, the factual Krissy, the silly Krissy, Krissy the Christian (who sets an example of all of us, btw), Krissy the daughter, sister, wife, and Kirssy the friend.  But many of your readers have chronic pain and or muscle spasms at one time or another. I have them every day of my life in my neck and back. I get a monthly script of 90-100 Soma when I get my Pain pills every month. No refills, but who needs refills when you get that.  So, my family doctor is great about that. But then, I don't have fibro, I just have a bad back, a crooked one, and metal rods and etc, in me.  I am one big mess with nerve damage, too.  I think I could get by without pain pills easier than I could without the muscle relaxant!  Thanks Krissy for being human, which makes the rest of us feel more normal!  We all love you & hope you stay feeling better.  Merry

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  13. Krissy, you write whatever you are moved to write about.  I look at your journal ecery day.  Pain is awful and we all know it.  So sympathy will come to you from us when you need it, and understanding.
                                                                                          DB

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  14. carouselqueen706/27/2008 1:18 PM

    Krissy, You should write whatever comes to you. I know I write about my troubled life. It's my journal. Why shouldnt I? I hope that you feel better. I have fibro and I know what it is like to try to get the doctors to take you seriously. I have joint pain all the time and they wont give my anything for it. Then they wonder why i get depressed alot. Go figure. Anyway, I hope you feel better. Please e-mail me or message my anytime....hugs, Christine

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  15. Blogs are so much more inviting when they are personalized in my opinion. I can read facts all over the internet. I like to read about a person when I come to someone's blog.
    Hope your back feels better soon.
    Pam

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  16. Hi Krissy  Sorry your suffering with good old Fibro.Sometimes I get that and I want to tear my hair out.
    But ofcourse my Lady Doc always comes threw. She gave pain patches. You can wear as many as 3 at a time. Sometimes I cut one up and put it in two or three different places. My bad spots is my ribs and brest bone. Ask your doctore about them they work great................Love Eileen

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  17. cacklinrosie1016/28/2008 7:15 AM

    I know that many, many doctors think fibromyalgia is in the head.  I also know the feeling of back spasms.  I was in a severe auto accident a good many years ago.  My son was almost killed.  Anyway, I spent months and months with back spasms that took my breath away.  Thankfully, I was able to get rid of them with months and months of PT.  Very rarely, one will pop up.  Mine is in the center of my back.  I almost feel like it's a heart attack.  In fact, I spent 2 days in the hospital a couple years ago while they ruled out heart problems.  Hang in there, and I've never found your journal boring ever.  Love you, Chris

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  18. I hope my hot dog link
    mistakes didn't put you off
    sent you an email
    with link to it, anyroad

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  19. That's a nightmare that your doctor didn't listen to you.  Doctors have too much power and don't listen to us when we need them :(  It's disgusting!!!

    Jenny

    http://journals.aol.co.uk/Jmoqueen/MyLife

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  20. hi krissy i feel the same way sometimes but what can we do.theres days i cant even move like right now ive been having these on my back bone and the doc. never seems to know wats the problem and to mention i to was a cancer survivor
    from 1999,i had all over my cervix and i was in denail at first,but then i thought of me dying and my kids needing me.all that stuff so i decided to go through with it after a few years i cant even tell u how long i wasnt taking care of myself at first
    but now its all about me then the kids.and i do need to let so steam out .and just dont know were to go and who to share it with .but reading ur entry it put me to think more and more ..thank you
    krissy..u have no idea how u can help a person..

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  21. hi again and i hope you get better ill be praying for you,,god bless u.

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  22. I hope that you feel better.  I am very glad that you decided to go to the emergency room also.  A lot of times when it comes to certain things I don't call my primary care doctor either.  If I listened to everything that my pcp said I would be in major trouble.  According to him I don't particularly need to take pain meds or a muscle relaxer for my lupus.  

    Tell me he is kidding right?  Thank goodness for my lupus doctor and other doctors.  They do not believe what we say sometimes. I think they believe that we are making it out to be way worse than it is.  Whatever Right.  I hope you are feeling better.  My back is bugging out now as well as my legs.  I walked too much yesterday.  Hugs.  Tish G.

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  23. heavenlybama7/03/2008 11:20 PM

    I never bother calling the dr. on call for the same reason how he treated you.  Shoot, I won't even go to the MMBR (Middle Man Band-aid Room - ER) either for pain.  MMBR is my new name for ERs.  Most of them won't do anything.  I'm glad they they treated you respectfully and didn't brush you off.  I'd like to do "real" entries in my journal but lately all I have to talk about is my physical problems.  I have no kids at home to talk about.  Sure once in awhile I have pics to share of somewhere we went to, etc.  I injured my knee 3 wks ago and thought I could get away without surgery by doing P.T. which made it worse.  I'm going to the dr. Tuesday to set up the surgery.  This is my 3rd stint on crutches in a year.  Even though I might write about it, my feeling is most people are not interested.  I'm interested in real entries from other J-Landers good or bad but I just feel if I write about my problems, people get bored or don't want to read it because it's depessing.  I've lost readers over it and when they come by to check in on me a few months later, something else physical is wrong.  I'm just talking about me and my journal only.  So what am I to do?  I just don't write.  Hope you're feeling better.
    Hugs,
    Dana

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